For a little context, I, (16 FM) And my best friend, (14 FM) let’s call her, Sienna, Si for short.
Sienna and I have been friends for around 8 years in October this year, we’ve practically lost count since we met on a game and only have met up a couple of times over the years.
But let’s not yap about that and actually cut to the chase on why i am making this reddit post, (which is my first by the way & English is not my first language so please bare with me.)
Sienna is dating this guy, let’s call him Jasper, (17 M) the thing about him is that they live in different cities, i have nothing against far distance, trust me I’ve tried it, wasn’t my thing but that’s a separate problem, enough about me, the thing is not the distance, it’s the fact that he’s 17 and she’s 14, and people I’ve mentioned this to is completely weirded out by it, which fyi, i am too, and I’m not really hiding it.
And for a little bit of lore, me, Megan (16FM) as mentioned before, and Jasper, live in the same city and we’ve been close in the past, or at least so i thought, i had a massive crush on him for over a year and me, sienna and jasper were in the same GC, that’s how they met in the first place, he even went as far to tell his friends we were practically, his words not mine, a ”thing” and that made me completely swoon for him at the time, and i really thought he liked me.
Then this big drama happened in the GC and me and Jasper stopped talking, completely cut me off because of rumors my other friends spread about me when we weren’t friends, messy i know, but anyways we didn’t speak for over a year, and during this time, Si had been speaking to Jasper the entire time behind my back, even though I’ve told her multiple times, please remove Jasper i am not comfortable with you speaking with him after he hurt me the way he did, but i recently found out they had indeed been talking, and now they’re together.
It hurt me in many ways and i feel kind of betrayed, first she didn’t listen to me or my feelings when i practically begged her to remove him from her socials, and the age difference just makes me, i don’t know how to put it but the best word i can think of is, icky?
He’s now met her in person two times and they have kissed, and some other PG 13 stuff i will not mention for reddit restrictions but i think you all get the point, and it almost makes me gag just thinking about it, i feel weird as i feel like I’m kind of her older sister, people with ”younger” friends might know the feeling, and i simply just can’t get over the fact that he’s turning 18 and she’s 14, turning 15 later this year so where i live technically it’s legal but it feels so wrong.
And part of me feels like I’m being unreasonable and petty for not wanting my friend to date this guy just because ”i liked him first” so please tell me..
AITA and am i being petty and a bad friend for feeling this way? or do i have a right to feel like this.
(Sorry for the grammar.)
EDIT
for everyone saying I’m jealous, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
I do not want this man, and i do not in the slightest even remotely close want him as a friend or anything, i simply cope with his excistense, barely..
I don’t like my wife’s best friend. She doesn’t particularly like mine. It’s only an issue if one of you is unwilling to have a separate relationship from the one Si has with Jasper and be cordial on the occasions that you do need to interact as a group
I don’t think the age difference is what’s really bothering you. Even if they were the same age you’d still hate it because you liked him first and he rejected you.
Info: you met her in a online game when she was six?
she had just turned 8 at the time, i was 10, we met in 2018!🩷
NTA you’re not being petty or a bad friend. If Sienna was a true friend she wouldn’t have started a relationship with your last crush/almost boyfriend. A lot of childhood friendships change or end when everyone is old enough to start dating because of things like crossed boundaries.
Well she’s 14, so a child acting like a child makes sense
I think its a weird gap tbf
The age gap is disgusting and that guy is a creep. 3 years is a huge gap at that age.
You might also be jealous but whatever.
Seconded. I had a couple 15y/o friends when I was 17 and in your teens, when you’re maturing so rapidly, that age gap is huge and I also saw them as little siblings. Could not imagine dating a 14y/o at 17, that’s just gross.
yeahh, i find it so weird, sure i do not like this guy in the slightest but that’s not why i’m disgusted by the relationship.
yeah, people say only that I’m jealous but the gap is the straw that broke the camel’s back
YTA because you’re jealous. Period. Normal. But why gaslight everyone on here. Yes. Si betrayed your trust. But you’re just staying close because of the old saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
You’re young and she’s younger. You’re best to just stop talking to her so you’re not upset about what you don’t know
I love si with all my heart, yes she have betrayed my trust but i don’t want to end our friendship over this man, i have a boyfriend and we’re going steady so if by being jealous you mean i still have feelings for jasper, you’re wrong.