I (f24) have been friends with this girl from work (f25) for a little over a year, at first we used to hang out a lot, going to clubs or even just chatting or calling daily, after last summer though she met some people while we were out clubbing and she started asking me to hang out less to not at all, the last few times I was the one to propose plans and she would always either ignore my messages for days or make up excuses the day before we were meant to meet up.
Anyways a couple weeks ago she texts me asking me to lend her 50 bucks, this isn’t the first time she asks me for money, I always said yes and she did always pay back, however I’m going through a rough patch with my family and personal stuff and I’ve been feeling as if I have no one to rely on for emotional support.
This time I felt really angry and disappointed and since I didn’t want to deal with the situation on hand I just thought I’d respond after I calmed down, the thing is those feelings never changed so instead I purposely ignored that message and only responded to tiktoks or silly short videos she sent .
She texts me angrily after around 4-5 days, saying it was shitty of me not to respond during her emergency (she didn’t state why she needed that money in the message) and that I could have simply said no if I didn’t want to help her.
I replied saying that it wasn’t about the money, I was just tired of being the second option friend, that she never contacts me anymore and only shows up when she needs something or to vent about her love drama. She justified herself saying she’s also going through some bad stuff and that’s why she said no to hanging out but it’s obviously an excuse because she’s been out with other friends just fine.
Fast forward to yesterday I saw her at work, gave a polite hello and she barely even looked me, she’s been flat out ignoring me and honestly I don’t have the energy to patch things up or to apologize
I only told this only to a couple of other friends who said I didn’t do anything wrong, but I feel guilty for not being straightforward about the current state of our friendship and waiting for her to confront me
Soooo am I the asshole?
P.s sorry for the bad English, it’s not my first language!
NTA, but next time just say no, don’t ignore her.
Nta. She is not your friend though or at least she doesn’t see you as one