Last year around this time, my friends and I planned a trip to Cancun Dream Natura Resort & Spa. We all wanted to drink, eat, dance & relax on the beach with NO KIDS. I’m the only one without kids, so I was really looking forward to spending time with just my friends to unwind.
Every other trip before this was planned with the kids. But this time there would be no early bedtimes, no crying, no screaming, no sand in our drinks because kids think it’s funny to throw sand.
1 WEEK before the trip, one of the friends said she’s bringing her 10 year old. This woman can never tell her kid "No." We had all warned her before hand that if this happens, we weren’t going to change anything.
To say I was annoyed was an understatement lol but I sucked it up, I still had 2 friends who were going child free and had no intention of changing any plans. My two other friends and I drank, we ate amazing food, we danced all night & spent the day at the beach.
The friend with the kid expressed her frustration about the rest of us doing what we wanted & she couldn’t. My response was pretty much "well that sucks but we’re not going to change the entire point of this trip just because of your inability to tell your kid no."
We invited her to do what we were doing multiple times but her response was always "I can’t, my kid wants to go….." So there was definitely tension between the 3 of us & her the entire trip.
When we were making our long way back home all 3 of us got a really nasty message from her fiancée. Calling us bad friends & how dare we not revolve our entire trip around her & their kid. That she had a terrible time & it was our fault.
I was like pardon???? That was pretty much the last straw for me. Now I NEVER tell my friends how to parent their children. But their daughter is so nasty. She is so spoiled & like I’ve stated earlier, has never been told "No." So you can understand how entitled this child is. My other friends are a lot more reasonable when it comes to their children. Their children are polite, have a general understanding about boundaries & they behave really well for 8-10 year olds.
My text back to him was pretty much: We made these plans a YEAR in advance. Expecting us to be fine with the fact that you guys dropped it on us that your child was coming a WEEK before we were leaving & then expecting us to change everything & cancel all of our plans because you guys can’t tell your kid no, is not fair to us. At all. That is a YOU problem. Not ours.
I’d understand if something came up & she had no choice but to bring her kid, shit happens, people cancel. But that was not the case. Her fiancé was home the entire time & her grandmother was looking forward to watching her granddaughter. But her kid freaked OUT about not being allowed to go on the trip & they couldn’t tell her no.
Now her & her fiancé are super pissed. Were we in the wrong here??
NTA
NTA
So the whole family is entitled. How charming.
Your message was honestly very tame. I would’ve dragged the whole family if I was responding. Also, I would very much distance myself from that friend as much as possible but that’s me and I’m quick to cut people out of my life when they’re disrespectful. Not only does your friend not respect you and the rest of the friend group, but she doesn’t respect herself or her child. That child will be very spoiled, entitled, and isolated as they grow up.
NTA, not even a little, it is entirely on her. Fiancé deciding to insert himself and send you all a long text about it is just comedy gold
NTA.
You told him the issue as it stood. Their point of the vacation was no kids. She changed the rules without asking and expected all of you to not only accept it, but to change your plans to show them a good time. The guilt is theirs to own but they want to toss it to you. Don’t catch it. Swat it back.
Glad the rest of you had a blast.
Should have booked adults only resort
NTA. The audacity!!
She FAFO, good on you for not changing for plans to revolve around her and the child. NTA
No, you weren’t wrong. Perhaps the reason she can’t tell her child “no”, is because she doesn’t get told “no” herself. You warned her. You explained it to her calmly beforehand. She thought you would cave. It didn’t happen and she had to deal with her choices.
NTA.
NTA- who brings a child on an adult trip when it isn’t an emergency then gets mad that they were excluded from activities. Why did her fiancé message you all. If she had an issue with it she should have said something. We all know why she didn’t and that is because she knew she was in the wrong for bringing kid in the first place. What did your other friends say?
NTA. You laid it out for her beforehand so she knew what to expect. Sucks to suck.
NTA. You’ve probably lost your friendship with this person, but it sounds like that isn’t a big loss at this particular point in time.
Even if her kid was the most obliging, friendliest and well behaved kid in the world, this trip would still have sucked for your friend had the kid come along. Kids can’t join in staying up late and drinking, they’re probably going to get bored hanging out on the beach all day, etc. A holiday which includes children is necessarily different to a holiday that is adults only.
Your friend did this to herself. She can be angry with you about it, that’s her prerogative, but she is the one who changed the terms of her participation. There was no obligation on you and the others to change the terms of your own.
NTA. I have a 9 year old and if someone brought their kid on a long awaited childfree trip I’d be PISSED. You were more gracious than a LOT of us would have been. Too many people cannot handle being told, “no”, and that is absolutely not your problem.
NTA. The three of you girls should move on. Her daughter will become a nasty teen very soon.
Does anyone actually use this sub for situations that are gray anymore? Jfc these ones where I’m supposed to believe that poster is so fucking clueless they think they might have possibly done something wrong when they clearly did not are just boring