me (18F) and kissed a girl (19F) several months ago, and we didn’t talk anymore because I didn’t like some things she said/did, and she didn’t like me for it since then. But we have a friend in common, which is my best friend, and she always said she was extremely sad because we didn’t get along.
So today she made a house party, and invited both of us to come. i didn’t want to go at first but i thought “why not? maybe we’ll get a fresh start”, and i was SO wrong. At first, things was going smooth and we talked about several things, until we started a girl talk, drinking and playing games, and the topic “being sl4pped during a kiss” came. she said “ooh i like it”, and i said i didn’t, without any intention. but during our kiss, she got physical, and i totally forgot about that, (even though it was kinda embarrassing bc she did that in our FIRST kiss). she literally turned red, then her face faded totally.
everyone laughed it off and i said sorry to her and explained why i dont like it, and she was ok bc she didn’t know it. but it didn’t work. the rest of the night was terrible, she scrolling on her phone and asking to her friend to go home. eventually they did went home and that said friend said “sorry, she’s always like that, and you can’t control what you say. you didn’t meant any harm”. but my best friend went feral with it. she said i could’ve just be quiet and now she doesn’t talk to me. she said that girl send her messages but didn’t want to tell me, which is unusual because we’re this type of friend who always tell stuff to each other.
my bestfriend said she’s not mad at me but at the situation, but i can see she blame me the most. some of our other friends said that the girl was trying to find a reason to dislike me, and that she overreacted about the situation in general. I understand that we can’t control what we feel, but at the same time i don’t think she needed to cause a scene by going home and talking shit abt me to our friend in common.
i would like to hear opinions, because i can’t see a reason why everything’s happening this way. so, AITA?
You just posted the same things a few mins earlier. Why several posts?
bc i forgot the paragraphs, sorry
NTA.
Based on what you say you didn’t call her out specifically, you just stated that you don’t like a particular act. She never should have done that to you without consent. You have every right not to like it, and every right to state that you don’t like it.
NTA – If I like asparagus, and serve asparagus, but you don’t like asparagus, it’s not necessarily an AH move, unless you’ve \*told\* me you don’t like asparagus. If I find out later that I served you asparagus and you didn’t like it, then I should feel at least mildly embarrassed, but it doesn’t rise to not liking each other or \*you\* being an AH.
I simply would need to remember not to serve you asparagus, and apologize for not checking.
things would go sooooo much better if the thought like you do. thanks for the time to read and de metaphore, i’ll problably use it with my bestfriend when we talk later
NTA – not just because the argument that this is somehow offensive to HER is absolutely ridiculous, but she has the audacity to be embarrassed about pushing HER kink onto YOU without CONSENT and making it about HER FEELINGS.
Christ almighty, you couldn’t pay me to be a teenager again lol
omg you sound like a really cool person. thank you for understanding me. 🫶🏻
NAH
You had every right to state your preferences
She shouldn’t have done it to you if she wasn’t sure you’d like it, but also she isn’t a full on AH for trying something without thinking you might not like it, though it’s always best to check or to just know your partner better before doing anything, especially if it’s not basic
She has a right to feel embarrassed bc she obviously likes you and she’s experiencing rejection and now in public, even though it wasn’t your intention
And if she’s not feeling good she has a right to withdraw socially and go home
I’d just say she didn’t have to talk about it to your mutual friends but also, she’s not even wrong for that either, she can talk about whatever. She didn’t insult you behind your back or anything apparently. She just said what happened and how she felt about it. That’s fine. She can tell others she’s embarrassed or even mad at you.
i haven’t stopped to think that maybe she still liked me, because we kissed once, at a halloween. i felt angry at first, but your pov made me think about it better. thank you. 🫶🏻
NTA. You answered a casual question honestly in a “girl talk” convo, you didn’t call her out or shame her, and you even apologized and explained yourself. Her storming off and trash talking you after is on her, not you, and your best friend should be more mad at the drama she caused than at you just… speaking.
thank you so much for your comment!!! it really means to me 🫶🏻
NTA.
She slapped you without your consent during your first kiss and now she is throwing an unjustifiable tantrum because you simply replied to a question.
I would add that your best friend is lowkey an asshole for being mad at the situation and being seemingly blaming you the most, while that girl clearly overreacted.
thank you so much for your comment!! you seem like a nice person. tomorrow i’ll try to talk to my bsf and see what she says!