I (24M) was hanging out with a friend (25M) the other night and he started talking about how he’s been feeling really “empty inside” lately and like he doesn’t really have much purpose right now. I honestly didn’t know what to say in the moment, and when things get kind of heavy I usually default to joking to break the tension. There was an empty sports drink bottle on the table, so I said something like “just because something is empty doesn’t mean it’s useless.” At first he kind of smiled, but then I added that the bottle could still be used for something else and he just got quiet. Later he texted me saying it felt like I was making fun of him opening up. I really didn’t mean it that way at all, I was just trying to lighten the mood because I didn’t know the right thing to say. Now I’m wondering if that came off worse than I thought. AITA? 😬
YTA
That was insensitive to say.
“Trying to lighten the mood” is a natural but inappropriate response to someone telling you that they’re depressed. Apologise sincerely. YTA.
Mild YTA. I get the impulse, but in these situations it’s best to say something like “I’m sorry you’re going through that” and, if pressed, be honest that you care about your friend but don’t know how to help. Empathy is important.
YTA.
He was hoping for some kind of comfort, but you belittled his feelings and shrugged him off. If he was feeling empty already, he probably felt even emptier after you said that. I hope he has friends he can talk to, because you aren’t one of them. I suspect you’re not a bad guy, just immature. But be careful what you say to people.
Joking when people are opening up or going through something is going to make you come off as an AH. I know this is your default reaction when you’re uncomfortable, but it’s something you need to work on if you don’t want to risk further upsetting people who are already not in a great state.
YTA
Dude needed support and you made fun of him? Hope he finds realm friend
You’re getting a bit old to feel the need to joke in a serious moment. If you want your friend to feel comfortable opening up to you again, apologize and try to listen.
Slight YTA. he opened up to you. You said something inappropriate.
Just think is that the last thing youd have liked to say to him.
YTA. I mean I understand you not knowing what to say and having a foot in the mouth moment, but you ought to have realised how it came out right after saying that!!
Someone tells you they are struggling with mental health and you tell them it need not necessarily mean they are useless?? They can still be USED for something else??
You should have cleared it out right then. It’s good that he atleast communicated to let you know how he felt. This gives you an opportunity to have an open convo about it and apologize. You can advise them to try new hobbies and maybe talk to a counselor to understand the core of their problem. Tell them clearly that you meant nothing wrong, but just don’t know how to apply handle this without making it worse, and a professional will be best to actually help them here.
YTA I get you didn’t know what to say but literally saying “I don’t know what to say” would’ve been leagues better. Your friend sounds like they are depressed and was reaching out to you for support and you reacted by making a joke. You owe your friend an apology
YTA. You felt nervous, you said something dumb, it happens.
I don’t know for you but I find it really hard to be vulnerable out loud, while, if I take the time, I can do a lot better in writing.
Maybe you could take 10 minutes to write him something more meaningful and honest, starting with “sorry I didn’t mean to be insensitive, I wanted to help but didn’t know what to say and then I got nervous.”
Just be honest and don’t minimize his feelings.
YTA. He was trying to talk to you about something REAL, something that’s hurting him, and you essentially said “No, I’d rather ignore that”. Sometimes things are SUPPOSED to be heavy, and you trying to “break the tension” is just you rejecting him. You’re a pretty shit friend.
YTA. You are fully grown and made light of something really serious. I hope you have apologized and really looked at who you are and who you want to become.
YTA, it’s very hard to open up about depression and he trusted you enough to tell you. He will keep his feelings locked up around you. This is something you can’t undo. I hope he finds someone he can trust and talk to………😥