Hi, I’ve been seeing a girl for the past couple of weekends. I like her and its been going well and I could see us taking this to the next step.
Last Sunday I was at her place and in the morning she wanted to go the supermarket to buy stuff. I had to do a grocery run myself too so it was convenient and kind of nice to do it together. Before we left she was looking around her room for a wallet, I had pointed out that her purse was right there but she said that one didn’t have her dad’s credit card. For context she’s 22, graduated this year and has a good job.
At the supermarket, she was putting stuff from the bakery section just without looking at any prices, barely looking at the item even. Now I know my own experience of having to grind without any handout may be coloring my opinion, and that’s why I’m here. I joked that she should cut her parents some slack and she had smiled back at the joke. When she bought two cereal boxes I asked why she was getting two she said it depends on her mood and again since the mood was light I just teased that don’t bankrupt your parents all at once, she got a bit defensive and misinterpreted the joke and said they’re her parents not mine, and that they won’t go broke because she got cereal. I tried to clear the air that that’s not what I meant and she said it was ok.
Since then our communication has been a bit cold, I asked if everything was good she said yeah. She couldn’t see me this weekend, which is when I would’ve personally liked to clear the air again so I’m just kind of overthinking this I guess and wanted to know if I was TA for my joke?
Those aren’t jokes
YTA you’re not even a couple yet and you’re already commenting or even policing her habits when you have no clue about the arrangement they may have regarding the credit card spending. What makes you so certain she wasn’t the ultimate person paying for those items just because the credit card is under her father’s name?
You might be able to salvage things if you just be upfront and apologise for being an ass for assuming things without clarifying
You weren’t joking. You were put off by her buying groceries with her Dad’s card. I think you’re exaggerating to be honest. She bought some bread and two boxes of cereal. You don’t know the arrangement she has with her parents.
“She misinterpreted my joke” yeah no
YTA
>they’re her parents not mine, and that they won’t go broke because she got cereal
I mean, she spelled it out pretty well.
In my opinion: YTA
1. You don’t know the level of wealth she has.
2. You don’t know the level of wealth her parents have.
3. You don’t know what arrangement she has with her parents.
4. What she buys is her business. You have no business dictating what she buys.
5. It wasn’t exactly like she was getting 10lbs of lobster at Costco, and the walking over to the meat case and getting Wagyu. Not that it would have changed anything. You way over reacted, and stepped over a giant line into a realm you had absolutely 0 business being in.
YTA. You have no idea what her financial arrangement is with her parents. Furthermore, it isn’t your business. Commenting on two boxes of cereal is bizarre, too. How hard is it to comprehend someone doesn’t want to eat the same kind all the time?
YTA and you’re lying about joking. The first one might have been a bad attempt at humor, but the second was a dig based on your obvious resentment.
I am a full grown adult, with a full time job and children, and my mom buys me groceries when she visits. Some families do things like that because they can and they like to. Just because your family doesn’t, it doesn’t make it wrong that her parents support her in that way. God knows groceries are expensive enough.
I love when people show they are jealous of others relationship with their parents and it comes out as a just a joke. You know what you did and you’re just sorry it upset her, but you meant what you said. Not only that you “joked” 2 times in a row.
I bet everyone would love to spoil their kids this way if possible.
YTA.
YTA. Criticizing someone in a “jokey” way doesn’t make it not criticism. Hiding behind “it was a joke” when you mean it is also an asshole move. In the bakery, if she’s buying items she buys regularly, why do you expect her to analyze the item and the price? And, it’s not like cereal goes bad quickly, so what’s wrong with buying a couple of different boxes and having options for what you feel like each morning. I get that for some people that’s a luxury, but in terms of overall cost, it really doesn’t matter if she buys one box of cereal per shopping trip or two boxes every other shopping trip. If her parents can afford the bill when it comes, then it won’t make a difference to them when she buys each box.
Bro you weren’t joking, and that’s obvious to everyone. Yta. You made it a point to tell us about your grind. Which has nothing to do with her so you made a lil jokey that shows your true feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Apologize sincerely and own up to it and you might salvage your relationship. But if you only know how to share your feelings through passive aggressive “jokes” then you’re in for a lifetime of pain and loneliness as you drive every girl away bc you can’t be honest with yourself and others.
Why do you feel the need to comment on her spending at all? You barely know her. You’ve only been out a few times and you are already micromanaging something as trivial as cereal. Why does it bother you that she has two boxes and you don’t?
You also seem overly focused on her parents and their money in a way that comes across as jealous and immature. It’s uncomfortable and unnecessary.
You should seriously rethink how you approach women, especially when their income or background differs from yours. She does not owe you explanations, and she is allowed to have cereal without commentary.
YTA
YTA. You weren’t joking. No one wants to be scolded by someone they’ve barely started seeing. She didn’t misinterpret you. You were criticizing her, and she didn’t want to put up with it. Good for her. Sure, maybe she shouldn’t be spending her parents’ money, but it’s absolutely none of your business. And, FYI, two boxes of cereal are not a crazy extravagance. Even when I was a very poor college student, I’d buy two boxes.
YTA
You made one joke about it, it went over well, you made a second joke about it and she correctly identified you had a bug up your ass about it and that you were trying to subtlety point it out. If the second one went over well were you going to make a third one if she grabbed a bag of chips? C’mon man.