I’m 24F and work in a small open office setup as a project coordinator. I have always tried to be helpful to my team, sharing stuff when asked Just to build up love and harmony but one coworker let’s call her Sarah, a 35F has a habit of just taking things from my desk like my stapler, highlighters, or even my favorite sweet mouse without saying a word. at first, it was minor, and I’d find them back eventually, but lately, items come back damaged or not at all. last month, my mouse stopped working after she used it she admitted to spilling coffee nearby and I had to buy a replacement out of pocket since the company doesn’t reimburse personal items. i talked to her privately about it, explaining that i get why she might need things in a pinch, but I’d appreciate if she asked first or used the communal supplies instead. she got offended, saying I’m being petty and that "we’re a team, sharing is what we do." now she’s barely speaking to me, and a couple other coworkers have mentioned she thinks I’m uncooperative and making the office vibe tense. our boss hasn’t gotten involved but the awkwardness is real. i wonder if I should’ve just let it go to keep the peace, since it’s a small team and harmony matters for our projects. maybe replacing a few cheap items isn’t worth the conflict? AITA for setting this limit?
not the asshole, you set a boundary and she clearly crossed it. it’s not petty to want your stuff respected, especially when it costs you. time for her to learn some basic office etiquette fr.
NTA
“Keeping the peace” is just another way of saying you’ll let people walk all over you to make sure THEY keep the peace and stop saying bad things about you when they’re the problem.
How do you simply take a sweet mouse?
NTA that’s just boundaries.
NTA. Lock up your stuff or leave it at home. Only use office supplied equipment. If she breaks something of yours, you now get her mouse instead.
NTA, she sounds like she is intentionally trying to spite you and upset you by being careless with your belongings. personally i would document this
She’s in the wrong, obviously, and the stuff is obviously not standard office stuff so using it without asking is rude.
I wouldn’t take personal stuff like that in to work though. They have mice there that you won’t care about losing or getting damaged and you won’t wear out equipment you care about, and you won’t be spending your own money to get your job done. And while a personal mouse is obviously yours things like highlighters and pens probably look like the other pens and people are likely to just grab one without thinking about it so they will get lost
If her new found attitude is affecting the performance of the office, I recommend you talk to your boss as soon as possible. Your boss gets paid more to manage, so make them earn their pay.
And taking personal items off your desk without your knowledge and/or permission is pilfering/stealing.
hav u tried putting her stapler in jelly? hope that helps
I would pack up your stuff at the end of every work day and secure it or take it home. It’s not your responsibility to manage your coworker’s supplies, just the project. That is an unrealistic expectation from her and the manager.
Items that you bought yourself are not for sharing.
NTA. Get a lockable box, put your things in there and label it “personal items, please don’t touch” then keep the box locked when you’re not at your desk. Talk to your boss, don’t point fingers just mention that some of the items you purchased have gone missing/been damaged. Oh and keep your receipts just in case.
She broke your shit. What?! F her. Start hiding stuff if you can.
Best way to “keep the peace”, and this shouldn’t be nessary as she is in the wrong, is have a small bag you can put all your personal items in and keep in your car when not at work. Or if you have an hr department you can speak to them about her taking your personal property with out permission, aka theft. Obviously NTA