I made plans to meet a couple friends for dinner last weekend. We agreed on a time and place earlier in the week and I showed up right on time.
After about 10 minutes I texted the group chat to see if they were close. One of them said they were “on the way.”
Another 15–20 minutes went by and they still hadn’t shown up. At that point I had been sitting there for about half an hour and the restaurant was pretty busy and didnt want to occupy a table, so I decided to just order food to go and eat instead of continuing to wait.
Right after I left, they started texting asking where I was. I told them I had already eaten because I had been waiting around 30 minutes.
One of them said I should’ve waited a little longer since they were almost there and that it was kind of rude to leave.
I feel like 30 minutes is already a long time to wait, but now I’m wondering if I should’ve stayed since they were apparently close.
AITA?
NTA people who don’t value your time suck.
NTA. Being late like this is so disrespectful. An entire half our is wild. I would be apologizing profusely to you instead of being mad you didn’t continue to wait for me. Your friends are assholes and inconsiderate. Selfish.
NTA – it was even more kind of rude to turn up to a restaurant over 30 minutes late.
NTA. Most places would have told you to move to the bar or to a single table after 15 mins of no shows.
Your friends are TA.
NTA. Had you not arrived first, the reservation would have be cancelled entirely most likely.
5-10 minutes late is acceptable, given the time of day, traffic, etc. but 30 minutes is obnoxious, especially if they don’t reach out first to say so.
5 minutes is one thing, 30 is not. NTA
NTA. I hate people who are chronically late. Don’t waste my time. If something happened like they said “hey sorry, got caught by a long freight train crossing “. Then ok, I’d have gotten myself an app and a drink. But to not give anything more than “on our way” nah. That says to me they just left the house and will be here in like an hour. Tell them if they can’t be punctual, don’t bother coming.
The correct answer when you are twenty minutes away is, “I am twenty minutes out.” Lying means you have no idea when or if they will appear. Leaving is appropriate.
NTA
30 mins is a lot of time. Especially when meeting at a restaurant.
If they were that late they should’ve told you a time frame. “Close” and “on the way” could be 5 mins, could be 30. That’s a clear disrespect of your time. And they basically said their time is worth more.
NTA. If they were so concerned about rudeness they would’ve been on time.
I love how they say it was rude of you to leave but it wasn’t rude of them to be 30 minutes late.
NTA.
I regularly watch this kind of shit happen from the servers perspective and it blows my mind how long people are willing to wait on their “friends”. NTA, 10-15 is acceptable as life happens, but 30+ minutes shows a lack of respect for others time and does not indicate that the people you are waiting on actually desire to spend any time with you at all.
A while back a girl had a reservation for a birthday dinner, I wanna say it was made for 12 people total. Birthday girl showed up by herself, two more showed up about 20 minutes later, then almost a full hour later 4 more arrived. No one else came. I was heartbroken for her, and if that had happened to me I would write off every one of those motherfuckers and never speak to them again.
NTA.
“It was kind of rude of you to leave.”
“It was kind of rude of you to make me wait 30 minutes.”
Although I can already see the “Don’t be dramatic” – “It’s not the big of a deal.” – “Who doesn’t wait for friends?”
Stay strong OP, you’re not in the wrong.
NTA *IF* the details are correct.
They weren’t 30 minutes late, you WAITED 30 mins, then ordered food to go, got your order, and left before they arrrived. Thats at least 45 minutes late (and likely longer) unless you ordered before the 15-20 minutes after you spoke with them.