I (25M) and my best friend (24M) have been through a lot. We’ve been homeless together. We moved out of our home state together. We have done everything together for a long time, and I decided once I got a job and he got a job to go on a plan together. Granted, it was only 50 bucks each for us because it was a cheap company to go through. I have been on that phone plan for a little bit. I now make decent money, and he doesn’t have a job now because he quits every job he has because of one thing or another. I have been paying his portion on the phone bill for four months now. And I finally decided enough is enough, so I went to go get my own phone bill.
After everything we have been through, he decides to say that I fucked him over because I left and got my own phone bill because he hasn’t had a job for a while and refuses to get a job because he doesn’t like the jobs that are available. He has removed me off of everything. We were like brothers. I feel like I just lost a piece of me, but I’m just sitting here wondering, like, am I in the wrong?
I’m using a throwaway account so he doesn’t find this and come yelling at me about it and saying that I’m in the wrong and all this stuff, because I feel like I’m not, but at the same time I kind of feel like I am.
\*EDIT\*
Yes, I told him that I would be switching months prior because I was looking into the Internet that my new company has and I’m in a roommate situation and my roommates Internet sucks and they wouldn’t let me upgrade it so I got my own and I told them I was going to do that so they knew months in advance that I was switching the main point here is they don’t have a job and they were my best friend so I was OK with it for a little while, but now that I have bigger bills that I need to deal with I can’t afford to have him hanging on any longer and I told him once he gets a job he can come onto my phone bill, but I guess he doesn’t remember that
I don’t really understand the story bc I could see no full stops so I can’t make a decision lol
NTA, I know it feels rough now but you are trying to better your life. You constantly having to pay his bill is setting you back. Instead of putting it into savings you are spending on him. Move on to better things thsna so called friend who’s going to keep making excuses and using you because he knows he can.
NTA.
If he thinks you are the asshole, then suggest to him that the two of you get married. After all, you’d financially support a spouse who wasn’t working, wouldn’t you? And that’s what he seems to be expecting of you. He wants you to support his lifestyle, possibly forever. That’s what married couples do.
If his response is “Whoa, dude, no! I’m not gay!”, then you can point out that apart from the sex, every other aspect of your relationship is like that of a committed married couple, so why not formalize it?
I am of course being facetious. You didn’t fuck him over. He’s a friend, not your spouse.
You may or may not choose to help him out for brief periods by giving or loaning him money (although personally I wouldn’t, because money issues between friends build resentment and never end well), but you are NOT responsible for supporting him indefinitely.
If he can’t hold down a job for long, if he can’t afford a phone, that’s his problem. He’s an adult. He needs to start adulting.
NTA they’re a leech and now he needs to grow up. Not your friend please understand that because if they were then they’d work whatever job they had until you both got on your feet.
Going nuclear over a phone bill is extreme.. maybe the relationship was not what you thought it was… from your pov it was a pure friendship and maybe for him its turned dependence and survival. If he had notice that you were going to stop the plan there should be no big issues even then it’s only a phone bill and he needs to start adulting like the rest of us.
Nta
Your not in the wrong, at least try to feel some peace that you’ve stood up for yourself so quickly.
Some people struggle for YEARS learning how to stand up for themselves.
Sad thing about aging is people change. Someone you once saw as a trustworthy, intelligent person may pop up in the paper for severe child neglect, demonic violence, etc etc. (Meant to type domestic, but demonic has me lmao)
That’s not even addressing those who get hooked on drugs. Just regular arse people.
Look at all the people you know who married the person they thought was the most amazing, best partner on gods green earth, only to find out they’ve been cheated on, stolen from, thrown under the bus…
Some people just…change. It sucks.
Preserve all the good memories you have. The good qualities you shared during your friendship that you’d like to find in other people.
Hopefully someday your buddy will mature more and hop back onto a similar life path path that your on. Otherwise, try not to let him manipulate you too hard and let him roll his ass back downhill to join the other hobos, till he smartens up.
I’m sorry about your friend…
NTA – But, where is he living if he can’t even afford a phone?
NTA. He needs to pull his own weight, and it’s not fair for him to expect you to carry him.
INFO did you talk to your buddy before you got your own plan and let him know you intended to?
The *only* question that matters here
NTA Not your job to pay for his stuff lol if he doesn’t like the jobs he can deal with being broke
NTA – his reaction shows you that you are being proactive and want a better a life for yourself and it sounds like your friend has accepted his station in life. I know you two went through the thick and thin of it but life happens and people paths don’t always align. Just leave the door open for communication later on if you feel comfortable doing so and I have a strong feeling he will reach out. Probably for money, but at least it’s a start.