hi friends. I (31f) am a janitor by trade. I clean a large health clinic that has three floors and many different suites. I do not work for the clinic but for a cleaning company contracted to the clinic. when things don’t get done properly, the clinic staff send my boss nasty emails.
this building should have at minimum 3 night janitors, preferably 4 or 5. However it is only me and my coworker John (20s? M). John is a very nice and kind guy, and he’s also extremely hard working. John and I have been putting in 12 hour shifts almost every day, plus coming in on the weekend just to keep up with the workload. this is how it’s been since our other coworker went on maternity leave about 4 weeks ago. Sometimes the company sends some people to help fill in, including the boss some times. But it’s always temporary. I have begged for permanent help but they’ve done nothing.
John is better at the job than I am. I have severe ADHD and have yet to find the right meds (working on it) and so I easily get distracted, side tracked, lost in the sauce, and in general I am just kind of slow. And yes. I admit sometimes I go on my phone more than I should. But I’m trying various different things to up my productivity including adjusting my sleep, using an AI as a virtual assistant, and soon will be changing my meds around. So while John is very hard working, I am this simultaneous mishmash of hardworking and lazy for some reasons that are my fault and some reasons that are not my fault. but either way, I still take 12 hours to finish my assigned segment of the building which is the first floor, about 40 percent of the whole building.
Wednesday night I had a mental breakdown at work at about 1am. I had been struggling and struggling to concentrate all night long and had barely gotten through a small segment of my work. I was a wreck. I was crying and snotty faced. And I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told John that I was struggling and why, and we came up with a plan for me to at least finish the most important things and then head home. Thankfully we had a third person that day.
I realized I’m in burn out. I texted my boss and said that from this point forward I was no longer working overtime. I was going to work till my scheduled 8 hours is up at 2:30am, and then I’m going to go home, regardless of what is or isn’t done. I will make sure the stuff that is done is sparkling, but the stuff that isn’t done, I will communicate to whoever else is working in the building. My mind and body are broken. I just cannot do it anymore.
My concern though is that John has a very responsible and hard working mindset. if I leave, he will finish what I don’t. I asked him not to, because I want management to get the nasty emails of unfinished work so they finally take the situation seriously, But John will likely do it anyway.
AITA for leaving at 2:30, knowing John will do the work I didn’t, dispute me asking him not to?
NTA for setting boundaries about going home, but you definitely are TA for knowing that someone else will finish your assigned task to prevent people from being fired. Get faster at your job.
I get the concern there, but OP isn’t responsible for what John does, nor can he control him.
I have been John in many situations like this. You talk about setting boundaries and not staying late. Maybe if you got off the damn phone, dropped your 9 excuses that you have and just did the work then neither you nor John would have to stay late. But let’s say that’s not the case, all of these excuses you have are within the 8 hours. You say you refuse to do overtime but it sounds like you aren’t even working your full shift.
Work sucks far more than it doesn’t and that’s true for 99 percent of people. Burnout is an excuse. I have ADHD and took meds for it off and on for 15 years. ADHD doesn’t force you to go on your phone. A shitty work ethic does. ADHD causes you to fidget and have trouble processing large amounts of information quickly. Your poor performance at work is not do to anything other your parents allowing you to be the type of person that makes excuses for themselves and have no work ethic.
Your boss sucks and needs to hire more people regardless but you giving a 2/10 effort is why you should feel guilty, not for refusing to stay over. Put on headphones and listen to something while you work. I’m off meds entirely at this point and that’s what gets me through the day. You can rewire your brain if you can find the balls to work through discomfort for a while.
Telling it like it is. I’ve been John too with ADHD. Felt like I was getting that off my chest. WELL SAID.
As another person with ADHD, 100% agree. You may find it hard to focus because of ADHD, but you’re hiding behind a lot of excuses as to why you’re not actually doing your work. That’s what makes YTA
Very well said. Start looking for a new job. Because when your company stops being a cheap a$$ and hires additional labor they are going to replace you too. And John probably wont stick up for you because you aren’t helping him out either.
I feel really conflicted about this. I have ADHD too and I know the struggle but it’s feeling like a crutch you are leaning on. If you go on your phone during work you should get yourself a flip phone for work so you can still be in contact with people without the distraction. It sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist about ADHD behavioral therapy rather than relying solely on meds. ADHD can be treated without meds and usually behavioral modification is the thing that helps the most in tandem with medication. You probably aren’t in the right job for your conditions but I feel that you’re kinda TA for laying out a bunch of excuses and openly admitting that you’re not focusing on your work. Probably get a different job but also work on your issues rather than letting them mess with your life so much but if you like this job then find a consistent pattern to follow each night that allows you to get your work done in a timely manner.
Side note- ditch the AI. It’s not doing your brain or the environment any good.
Sounds like you’re not a good fit for this job. Especially if you are distracted to the point that it reduces your contribution to the team effort of completing the work in a timely manner. YTA for staying in this job and causing your coworker to put forth extra effort due to your poor performance. You should find something else.
If she’s on her phone all the time maybe that’s why she’s having to work so many hours and getting so “burned out”
Maybe she could finish her 40% of the building in her normal 8 hours if she weren’t dicking around. She’s complaining about working OT except she’s not working while at work, no wonder it’s requiring extra time.
YTA
Soft Y,T,A on one point but it’s very understandable with adhd and burnout in general. You need to not have your phone on your person at work if it’s eating your time. If you can’t keep it in your pocket and your mind on the job it needs to be in a locker. Using an ai assistant is more of a hinderance than a help 9/10 but especially bad if you’re easily distracted by your phone. You can’t control what John does but you’re a good person for thinking so much about how this might affect him. You care about your coworker but it’s the companies job to hire more people here. Also I bet you’re less lazy than you think once you find the right meds. NTA for everything that’s not phone related
Poor John is all I can say.
NAH/YTA I also have severe ADHD and used to work as a custodian. I am exceptionally fast. Here’s what I do.
Take a week to put your phone down. Get an old-timey stopwatch, and start writing down how long your various areas take you to complete. Identify your choke points (eg mopping these particular floors slows me way down) and start strategizing different ways to improve efficiency. Focus on your three slowest areas. Nail them DOWN. Know EXACTLY what outlets you need to use so the vacuum can reach the farthest, etc. Find these little peccadillos that eat your time.
You’re not TA because you’re struggling from burnout. You’re TA because you know John is picking up a lot of slack, but you aren’t doing what you need to do to maximize your efficiency. When you give the absolute best 8 hours you can, you can set these boundaries with confidence and a clear conscious.
This is very typical of cleaning companies and commercial operations. The CO doesn’t want to pay for the needed labor and the cleaning company doesn’t want to lose the contract.
Ultimately, this won’t stop unless you and John do this together. They’ll just dump more on him, especially after they find a reason to fire you.
It’s time to find a new job.
Mild YTA – only because you admit that you use your personal phone more than you should at work for non-work reasons and you say this contributes to not getting enough work done. You know you do it, so get a phone that doesn’t connect to the internet and doesn’t have games etc so you cant get distracted by it at work.
Other than that, what’s John does at work is his own business. You told him what was going on and if he chooses to pick up the slack that’s on him. If the staff at the facility send shitty email, that’s on them and how your management respond to it is their business. Work on doing what you have to do and let everyone else do what they need to do.
YTA
A lot of people have ADHD and keep track of their job. Not medicated or even properly diagnosed.
I was on your side till you listed all you are doing not to do your job. ADHD is not a blanc excuse for being lazy.
At this point John (and even your boss) would be better off if you just quit.
Start doing your job. Make a check list and set time for each task. Stick to it. Check yourself whenever you go astraight. And, yes, if you do it correctly and consistently, it you don’t finish all the tasks in your assigned 8 h, then leave. Don’t to a half 4ss job and then cry and blame everything and everyone except yourself (and, apparently, John) for not doing your job