I have a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. They both have their friends over almost every weekend.
Last weekend, my daughter complained my son and his friends are too loud in the morning. And that is disrupts her friends sleep. My son and his friends wake up at like the crack of dawn (7am) then start playing video games in my son’s room. Its too loud for my daughter I guess, because I can’t hear anything from me and my wife’s room.
I told them to calm it down, which they agreed to. But my daughter wants me to tell them just to not use the TV at all because then the‘ll be loud again. I told her I couldn’t just tell them not do anything until get and her friends wake up. My wife thinks that if they’re “disrupting” they’re sleep maybe my daughter is right.
Daughter was mad at me for not “doing anything.”
AITA?
YTA, waking someone up at 7 am at weekend is a torture. Larks should have some respect for owls.
YTA. It’s perfectly reasonable to have quiet hours until say 9 or 10 AM on the weekend. Boys are often very loud/excited when playing video games. Is there another place in the house that’s farther away from your daughter’s room that they can quietly go to during quiet hours?
Kids are loud and annoying. That should primarily inconvenience you, not your daughter. If you’re subjecting her to rude (and it is rude) early morning noise that you’re not experiencing, then of course YTA. You know damn well that “the crack of dawn” is an unreasonable time to expect everyone to be up. Your son is either old enough to be considerate or young enough that you need to manage his behavior, so which is it?
A reasonable compromise is telling those boys they need to keep it quiet and probably stay in bed or do something screenless until some reasonable hour. I think it’s fair off the bat to tell them not to use the TV before like 9. but if you want to be slow about it, you can tell them they can use the TV but they’ll lose the privilege if they get too loud, which they almost certainly will. But also why tf do your kids have unsupervised and unlimited access to screens?
This is the key point. OP is shuffling the impacts of his parenting decisions onto his daughter instead of making sure those impacts are his alone.
Move the TV next to your room.
YTA. Part of living in a house is being considerate of other people that live there. Yelling at the tv at 7am every weekend is not considerate or acceptable for any living situation, ever. This is a moment to parent your son instead of making it your daughters problem.
I have younger brothers that used to do the same thing. Every single day, screaming at the tv first thing in the morning. It’s rude, and your daughter matters here too. The boys can find something else to do until at least a reasonable hour, like 9 or 10. Telling them to “calm it down” does nothing. And saying “I cant tell them to do nothing” is a cop out. They dont have to do nothing- they have to not scream at the tv. I guarantee if your daughter was staying up late in the night and making noise with her friends, you’d be all over telling her to quiet down.
YTA. Its not unreasonable for your daughter to not want to be woken up at 7am on the weekend. We always had quiet hours on the weekends if friends were over or not. No loud noises before 9am or after 11pm. I get them being excited but its respectful of the rest of the house.
Move the boys right next to your bedroom so you get to hear how loud they are. I’m guessing your kids share a wall and your room is a distance away. YTA your job is to raise decent adults and they need to understand being loud while others are sleeping, before 9am, is rude.
Edit spelling
So, another edition of “boys will be boys”? YTA.
Let the boys play on the TV in your room or in another area of the house so as to not disrupt the sleeping girls.
This. And no-one should be woken up at “the crack of dawn” by loud noises or TV. If someone wants to do that, they can wear headphones and keep their mouth shut. If you told them to do that *and they’re still noisy*, then you need to intervene again.
> I told her I couldn’t just tell them not do anything until get and her friends wake up.
Well yes, you can. You’re the parent. At least not until a reasonable hour. If your daughter sleeps until mid morning, then she doesn’t have a foot to stand on. 7am is entirely different. Son&Friends can surely find something to do between “playing video games with the sound on” and “nothing”.
Oh and OP, just because you can’t hear doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem. It’s your job to resolve the issue. Maybe you can put their TV next in your bedroom, if its such a non issue.
YTA. Way to raise boys who have no consideration for others. While you can’t expect them to be silent, being super loud is not good either. I feel bad for any roommate they ever have with the amount of entitlement you’re teaching them.
This is such an “I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas” situation. YTA, OP.
YTA. But have your daughter wake you up on the weekends when the boys wake up the girls. Then report back to us and let us know how you feel.
YTA. Your 13 yr old can’t keep quiet until a decent hour in the morning? Your tune would be a lot different if you could hear him from your room. You just don’t care that it is disrupting your daughter