My sister (18F) and I (28F) are as close as we can be with a ten year age gap and me living three hours away from our hometown. In my ten years of living in a different city, I have only missed one of her birthdays because she chose not to celebrate that year. I come home to visit nearly once every other month for at least two days.
Three weeks ago she started planning her 18th party. She wanted to go to dinner and topgolf with some of her friends. I sent her half the money for the reservation plus an extra hundred for an outfit ($250).
Fast forward to this yesterday (her actually birthday): every news outlet and weather service says it’s going to freeze and possibly snow in both my hometown and the city where I currently live. Neither city is ever properly equipped to handle this weather; we don’t have plows or things to salt the road. We’re guaranteed to lose power, but we don’t know for how long. Ted Cruz hopped a flight to Cali last night, which usually means we’re fucked.
I explained this to my sister, and she got super upset. She claimed that she had thoroughly checked the news and there were no reports of ice or snow. I responded with four different screenshots saying otherwise. She said she doesn’t want to cancel her party because she not turns 18 once, and she didn’t celebrate her birthday last year (which was her choice). I told her it wouldn’t be safe for me to drive there because of the ice and because I’d likely get stuck in my hometown, unable to return to the city I’m in now. I can’t afford to pay for a hotel if I get stuck in my hometown. On top of that, it’s supposed to be 22 degrees while we’re at topgolf. I don’t think any number of outdoor heaters can make that comfortable. She claims none of her other friends are worried about the weather/roads and they’ll all be at topgolf.
I told her to pick a weekend in Feb and I’ll take her to do whatever she wants as a late celebration, but that made her more mad and she said “don’t worry about it.” Now I’m worried I might be an asshole for missing her only 18th birthday, especially if everyone else really does show up for her. I’m also worried that weather reports are wrong and I’ll miss her party for no reason.
So, AITA for telling my sister on her birthday that I’m not coming to her 18th birthday party because of severe weather alerts, even though everyone else is still coming?
NTA Staying safe is more important.
Maybe she’ll mature for her next birthday and focus on what’s important in life.
NTA
You have a valid reason to skip it. She should understand that you have some reasons.
And it’s just one birthday, If she truly cares about you, she shouldn’t have a problem
NAH – She’s right to be upset that her big sis can’t attend, and you are right to be concerned for your safety and finances.
NAH. She feels how she feels. You are right to prioritise safety.
And yeah, you don’t turn 18 every year but you also don’t turn 17 or 19 or 20 every year either. It’s not that big of a deal.
NTA – I suspect that she is hurt from the news that you can’t come but I suspect that she will get over it once the weather takes effect (and she sees why you dont want to risk it).
I’m in the UK and I’ve heard the news about the weather there!
Making a special trip later and going all out to make up for it will probably sweeten things up.
I wouldn’t plan something extra later to “make up fir it”. Make up for what? The weather? You already sent her money as her gift. That is sufficient. How many celebrations does she need to have as a balm to her little feelings? She will be 18, an adult. It is past time for her to learn that life happens even to the emotionally immature.
NTA. I’ll never understand people that make such a big deal about birthdays. But putting that aside:
It is indeed reckless and inconsiderate of her to put her wants over your safety. It’s dumb. Stay safe. It doesn’t matter if you only get a lil bit of snow and ice. That’s crazy dangerous in states with no plows and no salt.
She sounds immature -putting her desire to celebrate over your health and financial risk.
I think we live in the same place. Damn that ted cruz. You do what you believe is safe. At 18 we think we know everything. At 28, we know a whole lot more. If its not freezing apologize, if it is freezing, no gloating. Be smart, be safe.
And you be warm! Get to HEB when you can!
Your sister is young (also prob why none of her friends are worried about the cold). She’ll hold a grudge until you “make it up” to her with your own special celebration. To her you’re the AH right now but she’ll understand it later. You sound like an amazing sister, I wish mine sent me money for birthdays etc. when I was younger!!!
She’ll act her age about it but she’ll have a ton of fun, regardless. NTA to the rest of the world though 😋 Happy B’day to your sister!