AITA for my productivity/behaviour becoming affected after my friend installed home security cameras?

I (24M) moved into my good friend’s (39M) house and we’ve been living together for 3 years. We’re not partners. I don’t work on account of a stressful degree, but the house is paid off and he makes enough for bills, so I buy groceries, do chores/cook, so I’m home often when not in class.

2 years ago, he bought a doorbell camera and security cameras for the sides and back of the house plus window/door sensors for security and to monitor his dog who sometimes escapes the yard. Fine. 

But soon after, he wanted security cameras **in** the house. He claimed it was to monitor the dog’s mischief. They’d be in the entryway, living room, and hallway (which points at our bedrooms and bathroom).

I said I was opposed. I didn’t see the point of internal cameras when the outside was covered already. He said he’d give me access to the app, buy cameras with lids, and allow me to close the lids (which tbf, he did) but I still didn’t agree. I didn’t want to have to worry about my privacy accessible in a hackable app. But he went ahead and got them anyway. 

The dog was often of little interest on camera as he milled about, so with the lack of activity, the cameras had a different benefit.

A text right as I left the house: “Why are you just now leaving? You should go to the store earlier.” 

At dinner: “Why didn’t you get downstairs until 11? You were supposed to feed the dog at 10.” 

I would say something funny happened with the dog while he was working: “I know, I saw.” 

If he texted with no immediate answer, I’d hear from a camera loud speaker: “Why are you not answering?” 

Sometimes he posted funny things of the dog on the cameras to his insta story, but a few times it’s something “funny” of ME on camera. I’d ask him to remove it and though he did, he didn’t understand what the big deal was.

I’d close camera lids, but because he gets upset if I don’t open them before bed, I’d mostly leave them open to avoid the scolding if I forgot. The house feels less like home and more like the Truman Show sometimes, often leading me to avoid tasks as I feel I can’t do anything without the fear of surveillance. 

I’ll admit there are some things I should’ve been doing at home that I was pushing to a later date/time or forgetting. Still, I feel using the cameras for receipts is overstepping some kind of privacy boundary. Fear of being watched is so ingrained now, I catch myself sometimes unable to relax in the house or reflexively checking for a camera in my room before undressing.

My friend says the cameras are harmless, that I should just get things done properly if I don’t want to be monitored or called out by him. But I still feel this only causes me paranoia and frames my task struggling as *my* fault for what I feel was (and still is) an invasion of my privacy.

AITA for surveillance anxiety affecting my productivity/behaviour?

14 thoughts on “AITA for my productivity/behaviour becoming affected after my friend installed home security cameras?”
  1. NTA, and this isn’t normal. 

    Imagine if a young woman were in your position. Would you write it off as normal or creepy? I think it’s creepy regardless of gender, but sometimes people see it more clearly in those cases.

    You shouldn’t have to live like this, and it feels like he’s increasing his control over you. That never ends well. Do you have anywhere else you could live?

  2. NTA, yes you are living there for free, yes it’s his right to have cameras, but this is not a legal sub. It’s AITA. This dude is being an AH. Yall really think it’s ok for him to post video footage of OP online? WTH is wrong with all of you. Yes op should move out if they don’t like it. Doesn’t mean this guy isn’t a TOTAL creep.

    1. Roomie posting videos of OP online was what made me change my verdict to NTA. That is a HUGE invasion of privacy. I have indoor cameras to monitor my pets, and I rarely access them when my own HUSBAND is home because thats just creepy and invasive. Also, if someone is home, then the pets are being monitored

    2. Yes I’m not looking for legal advice, not looking to press anything against my friend, cos we are still good friends. I’m very much aware he’s doing a kind thing letting me be here, he can have cameras, not disputing that. I’m looking to move out. My post was more so to ask if I was TA for thinking his surveillance was a bit innapropriate even given the circumstances

  3. What the hell is wrong with this comments section?! NTA this is pretty much a pressure cooker for some intense mental health problems. Get out NOW bestie 

  4. Free rent isn’t worth not being able to relax in your home without a fear of being monitored. Time to find a new living situation.

  5. NTA

    If he doesn’t get why this is invasive and creepy, he probably won’t be convinced that it’s invasive and creepy. Time to find a different living situation.

  6. NTA. This is just weird and creepy. If he wants you to do more around the house, if he wants you to move out, if he wants you to…. Anything he should use his words like an adult.

    Posting clips of you online from the indoor security cameras he monitors you with is extremely freaking weird behavior.

  7. NTA. A don’t think you’re an asshole for not liking the cameras, and he’s not an asshole for preferring it.

    He is an asshole for posting security camera footage of you to instagram

    He is an asshole for using the camera speakers to scold you for not responding to his texts

    He is an asshole for using the camera to police when you do activities like shopping

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