I was giving a coworker some furniture and a few people from work can to pick it up. I put everything out it the driveway prior to them getting there and helped them load it up.
One of my coworkers asked the use my bathroom and I said “no”.
That specific coworker is especially judgmental and talks about everyone. My house is somewhat of a fixer and there are things that I want to change that I do not like about the house. I did not feel comfortable with her going in my house in fear of what she may say behind my back to anyone who would listen. AITA
ESH IMO… by trying to avoid one situation you don’t want to deal with, you surely have created a new one now… “can you believe he/she didn’t even want me to use the bathroom when I really had to go?!” She’ll definitely be talking about that one…
Yikes, this is a tough situation. Do you really think you avoided the gossip machine? Didn’t you just give this coworker fuel for office gossip by being so inhospitable?
You aren’t obligated to allow someone you don’t trust into your home, so I will go NTA. It sounds like you didn’t invite this coworker into the situation especially, more that your good deed for a different coworker ultimately resulted in judgy coworker being at your home. Just seems like it was a lose-lose situation.
It’s pretty sad that your work life is such that you have to worry about being talked about behind your back on the basis of your home being a fixer-upper.
If you’re worried about them judging you harshly, how do you think they feel about you now?
YTA
NTA. If someone wants to be treated well, they shouldn’t talk shit about other people.
This is one case I would’ve used an excuse. NTA, but you’re still gonna be gossiped about. “Sorry, no, my partner/child/relative has food poisoning, they’ve been in there all day.” “Sorry, no, I’m waiting on a plumber to fix it.” Idk. Something.
NTA. Your house, your rules. You don’t have to let an untrustworthy person into your home. Ever.
Nta but they are definitely going to judge you now and tell everyone at the office/work site about this.
NTA. I have a relative who is like this and they have never seen the inside of my home. Actions have consequences!
NAH. A request was made and subsequently denied. This is not asshole merely life.
Going against the grain with ESH.
She sucks because she’s a judgmental gossip. And she’s going to gossip about how you wouldn’t let her go to the bathroom.
You suck because when you gotta go, you gotta go. You could’ve just said “We’re working on renovating, so the house is kind of a mess” or something similar.
The lady could’ve been lying about needing to go just to be able to see more of her house to judge
NTA. I don’t let people in my house. There’s nothing wrong with my house. Your reasons don’t matter, it’s your private place.
YTA – Your house, your rules, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be an asshole for denying someone use of the bathroom. You could have always said “hey it’s a fixer-upper, so don’t mind the look!” if you were so worried.
I think the negative gossip you are going to get from not letting them use your bathroom is going to be worse. They will probably also now speculate on why, which could lead to things like “it must be REALLY bad in there” or things like that.
Is the house just old and needs some work, or is it dirty/messy/hoarder?
NTA – You most likely avoided having this person take photos of your home that would be included with their gossip. Actions have consequences and when someone isn’t trustworthy, things like this happen.