My wife and I are hosting our first Thanksgiving in our new house, and we are having some conflict surrounding my mom’s boyfriend "Rick" and if he should attend or not. My mom has been with Rick for a few years and he has always been polite to us though a bit standoffish and clingy with my mom.
I thought everything was good until over the summer, right after out wedding, my mom called my wife while she was in the car with Rick. She was using CarPlay and seemed to think she hung up when she didn’t. My wife overheard Rick as my mom if I made a lot of money. IDK if it is relevant but Rick and my mom are both loaded. My mom asked why and he said he thought my career usually paid well, and then he was like "I’m a dick for saying this, but his wife is not pretty. I’d think he could afford better." My mom immediately told him off for being gross, but my wife was absolutely gutted.
She called me crying and I immediately called my mom and lost my shit. She was so embarrassed and apologized profusely. I believe my mom genuinely would never want to hurt us, but that doesn’t change what he said. Rick apologized as well, but honestly fuck him.
The issue is Thanksgiving is tomorrow and my wife never wants to see Rick again. My mom feels we are being unfair and that we should forgive him as he gave a "genuine apology" and he "never intended for anyone to hear that" She said she is sure we have conversations we would never want anyone to hear. i told her he absolutely cannot come, but I really hope she will. Ultimately my mom decided to spend Thanksgiving with Rick and now the rest of the family is pissed at me. My aunt said I’m being a selfish brat when my mom has put me first my entire life, and my grandma said my wife needs to grow up and accept that he might not find her attractive.
NTA, Rick’s not allowed over to my house either.