For the last six months, I have been watching my nephew for free while my sister is working. My sister is a single mom. She works between 32 and 40 hours a week. We live together, so when she is getting showered and ready for work, I am also watching him. It is usually around 9 hours per day that I watch him if you include when she’s here getting ready and 5 days per week. The other day, she had a date scheduled in the evening. I had already watched my nephew for 9 hours that day and she just expected me to watch him for free during her date. FYI, I didn’t know about the date until 10 minutes before she was leaving. AITA for telling her that I would like to be paid if she is leaving him with me for personal time and that I would like more notice? Inside, I feel like I’m the bad guy for not just doing what she wants because she is a single mom and she says she can’t afford to pay me. I’m currently feeling really guilty for standing up for myself. Probably because I’ve always been a people pleaser.
INFO: Who pays for the rent, food, etc?
She’s already watching him 40 hours a week. Even if she’s living rent free 10 minutes notice is ridiculous.
We split all of the bills evenly.
nta you are helping while she works but she should have asked for a baby sitter for the date.
She’s the single Mom, not you. She needs to schedule help and not just assume you’re free.
NTA
NTA. You’re basically working an unpaid full-time job watching your nephew for free as it is, and if she can afford to go on a date then she can afford to throw a few dollars and a bit more warning for the overtime.
NTA What agreements do you have with your sister? She pays rent, bills and groceries in exchange for babysitting?
NTA. The notice or the being paid for your time. If your arrangement is to look after your nephew during the day while she works and everything is agreed, then what happened her is she took you for granted. She did not consider you at all and that’s not fair. If she now wants you to babysit outside of an already established agreement, then she needs to realize that needs to be negotiated; i.e. proper lead time, requested and not assumed, and suitable compensation.
If she can’t afford to pay you for the additional babysitting then unfortunately she can’t afford to go out. It’s that simple. You can’t use someone because you’re a single mother.
Anyways, nta. You should be proud to have stood up for yourself. Your sister is upset because you’re calling her out on her taking you for granted and she’s furthermore doing that if she expects additional help for nothing in return. I mean hell, she could at least offer to bring you back food or order you and the kid something! Jeez! Whenever my oldest babysit my youngest, if I couldn’t pay, I at least set them up with dinner!
Never feel bad for standing up for yourself.
NTA. Even if she can’t pay you she should’ve atleast asked if it was okay for you to watch him during her date….
NTA, my grandma made her kids pay her when she watched their children, lol. She was retired and let them know she raised her children. She didn’t ask for a lot but she had a life too and she could have been doing other stuff with her time. At least during her work hours it’s free.
NTA. Your sister’s TA for seeing you as unpaid labor. You need to establish some clear boundaries.
NTA. Youcant be a doormat if you get up off the floor. You have no reason to feel guilty. You have every right to expect some compensation for babysitting 9+ hours a day. He is your nephew not your child. It’s great you are helping your sister but at what cost to you? You don’t say whether you work or not. However, it is time to set some boundaries. She can pay someone else to babysit some. You need time for yourself and it is so disrespectful to give you 10 minimum notice she needs tyou to babysit. She needs to figure things out on her own. Find your big girl voice and stand up for yourself.
Time to move out. Watching nephew 9hr/5days that’s a full time job.
Your sister won’t pay you but she’ll pay a babysitter when she has to.
when is it your turn to get pleased and what will she do for you in return? NTA