I recently reconnected with an old “friend” (quotes intentional) after not really being in contact for over 10 years. We decided to get to know each other again.
For a few weeks, we talked a lot. Long phone calls at night (sometimes 5–7 hours), texting during the day, constant communication. However, during all of this time, no concrete plans were ever made. No dates, no plans to meet in person, nothing beyond talking on the phone.
At the same time, I’ve been going through a very difficult period. I lost my job and have been relying on Uber to survive. I drive anywhere from 8–12 hours a day trying to avoid eviction and car repossession. Time is literally money for me right now.
I would sometimes text him about my Uber experiences. There were a few days where I didn’t call him because I was exhausted and working nonstop. He got upset with me for not calling.
What confused me was that he hadn’t called me either. He had previously said he would text and ask me to call him, which he did, but sometimes I genuinely couldn’t. When I was doing Uber Eats, I could occasionally talk on the phone while working. Now that I’m driving passengers, I can’t have long, full conversations while people are in the car.
He then told me that part of why he was upset was because I had been Ubering near his house and didn’t stop to see him.
I explained that if I stop Ubering, I’m not making money, and that going to someone’s house during work hours costs me income. He hasn’t offered to take me out, hasn’t made plans, and hasn’t suggested anything beyond talking on the phone. It felt like the expectation was that I should just come over because I happened to be nearby.
When I asked him when exactly I was supposed to call while driving, he responded that if I “had time to leave a message,” I “had time to call.” I explained that leaving a quick message is not the same as having a full phone conversation while working.
I also asked why he was so “in his feelings” about this when it was work-related. His response was: “I’m not in my feelings. Problem solved.” Shortly after, he texted that he was “tired of begging.” Since then, he’s stopped speaking to me.
I feel like I’ve been transparent about my situation and limitations, and I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect me to stop working or come over with no plans, especially during financial hardship.
So, AITA for not calling more and not stopping to see him while I was working, given the circumstances?
NTA That’s weird and manipulative dodge the bullet
NTA
If he wanted a date, he should have asked you out. If he wanted to talk, he could have picked up the phone.
Looks like you dodged a bullet. (Twice).
He sounds emotionally immature.
NTA and you know it, block and move on
Why do you care? He isn’t doing anything except make your life even more difficult right now and you don’t have the time for nonsense. Let him be in his feelings by himself
Run…. NTA
Nah… time to move on
There’s a good reason you lost the initial connection.
NTA. You found yourself a narcissistic abuser. Drive that car away from him.
Big red flags. Good riddance, I say.
NTA. Seems like he wanted you to do all the work in the relationship. He made zero effort. You’re better off without him. Good luck with your work and finances!
NTA Consider this a bullet dodged and move on.
Ma’am. Honestly. NTA.
If he can’t respect your grind, you don’t have time for him.
NTA
Take the W with this clown not calling you anymore. Bro is a world-class schmuck and this would have only gotten worse.
“Why did you stop pursuing me?” Bah.