I (22M) went on a date with the girl I’ve been pursuing today. My (53F) mom and I have a rule where I send my location everytime I will be out for a long period of time. I sent the location at 10:08am as I was supposed to since I was at the location and it never went through on WhatsApp. So I called my mom at around 3:37pm when I was omw back home to tell her what happened and I could hear from her voice that she was upset. When I got home she didnt speak to me for a bit but eventually she entered my bedroom telling me how she wouldn’t care about how long I went out or if I left and never came back. She was crying while telling me this and everytime I tried to tell my side she would tell me to shut up.
Tbf this is the second time this has happened. Idk why sometimes my location doesnt go through. I should’ve checked but I was caught up with other things. I also feel shes going overboard and its not the first times shes said things like this. I honestly start to feel like Im a terrible son sometimes eventhough I dont do as bad as other sons. I want someone’s perspective.
You’re 22 and your mom needs to know your location? Yeesh. NTA, but your mom on the other hand…
> She was crying while…
Yea, no. Fuck that. Game over. No more local sharing from today on.
Move out.
Buddy…you’re 22. NTA
INFO why does a 22 year old adult need to share their location with their mother, lest get punished with the silent treatment followed by a narcissistic guilt trip?
But for real you’re an asshole to yourself if you don’t set better boundaries with your mom asap
You are NTA. At 22, you shouldn’t have to share your location with your mother. This isn’t healthy. It’s time for you to set some boundaries.
And when you do, she’s going to be upset, she’ll get angry, she’ll cry, she’ll give you the silent treatment and all the guilt trips. But she’ll still be wrong. Her anxiety is hers to manage, not yours. It’s not your responsibility.
A grown adult should not be sharing their location with their mom or checking in everytime they’re out of the house for a few hours. It’s not normal.
YTA
For allowing your mom to require you to send her your location and for putting up with her emotional manipulation.
NTA To me this is very strange behaviour for a mother of a grown adult. Basically throwing a tantrum bc she didn’t know where her son was for 5 hours? I’m sorry if this is insensitive but did she or your family member were a victim of some traumatic event that caused you to implement that rule? I’d guess about 1/3 of 22 year olds don’t even live at home anymore let alone share their location at all times.
NTA
I’m a mom and also a mental health professional. Here’s my opinion.
You need to remind your mama that you are an adult and the rule SHE has is ridiculous. Does she share her location with you!? I doubt it.
Grownups do not need to know where each other are every second of the day or at all. Requiring this is a controlling behaviour which can easily slip into more obvious abuse and should not occur. Crying, silent behaviour and threats ate manipulative AND childish. You are more grown up than mom.
Worrying about our kids is the nature of motherhood. Tell her she raised you well and to be capable of independent thought and action AND to take care of yourself. She can – and must – trust you.
This is going to sound extreme but I find your post terrifying. If you are a healthy and average intelligence person it’s beyond bizarre that you are still living under your mother’s wings.
Grow up and tell her to back up. Just my opinion
NTA to your mother but YTA to yourself.
You’re a 22yr old man…out in public..on a date..in the daytime. My dude, YTA to yourself for this unhealthy dynamic and allowing your mom to emotionally manipulate you. Grow a spine.
NTA, but holy heck your mom sounds like a piece of work. Why is this rule enforced on you as a grown man, especially if you’re out during the day at what would be normal working/business hours? The location tracking, the silent treatment followed by guilt tripping, and the refusal to listen to you at all is, in fact, her going overboard and a huge red flag.
NTA
I say this as a mom of a 19yo. Unless you live in a dystopian nightmare world, your mom is weirdly controlling and not treating you as an adult.