This is my boyfriend best friend. He has no reddit.
A little backstory. I carpooled with my bf’s best friend’s then-gf for a year, and she talked a lot about their relationship. She once told me she gave him a 4 year timeline to propose or she’d leave. I told her I didn’t think that’s how it works, especially since neither of them were financially stable yet. She said if a man wants to marry you, he’ll do it and that’s that.
After that, anytime we went out or hung out, she’d make sly comments. Holding up her ring finger saying “gotta put a ring on it first,” and his face and response was always “nahh” shakes his head. Look away. “You trippin” “you on yo own” “whoo?” One of these reactions.
They hit four years this year, and he proposed two weeks ago on a trip. I saw her post it on Facebook and congratulated them. he was at work and doesn’t use FB. I also forgot to tell him. The next day, a mutual friend asked him on the game if he knew his best friend was engaged. He was shocked. His best friend never told him or posted anything on Instagram (the only social he uses).
It felt off to my bf, especially hearing it from other friends first. He didn’t want to pry because if his friend didn’t say anything, he assumed he wanted privacy or maybe the bestfriend wanted to tell him himself.
Later, another best friend said he called the newly engaged friend after seeing the FB post. When asked if he was excited, he said “not really,” just a thank you. Which was weird because these guys are super close, always joking, always hyping each other up.
Since the proposal, they’ve been on the game together almost every night. His best friend acts normal, joking like usual, but never once mentions proposing or being engaged.
The next weekend we all hung out on the newly engaged friends plan to hang at the other best friends house to drink and chill. Thinking it was to bring up their engagement so I congratulated both of them when i hugged them separately as they arrived. She talked nonstop about rings, dresses, venues. Every time she did, he’d turn around confused like “what are you talking about?” and kept playing pool with my bf. Still never brought up the engagement to my bf. We ended up leaving early because my bf felt weird and kinda hurt.
A couple days later, the other best friend whose house we hungout at asked my bf if he congratulated him or talked about the engagement. My bf said no because he was never told, friend never posted, and never mentioned it the other day at his house together. Turns out the engaged friend Called and asked that same best friend, “I don’t know if I’m tripping, but he’s the only one who didn’t congratulate me.” When asked if he ever told my bf or posted anything he said no.
What would yall have done differently? Should he assumed his friend wanted privacy and break the news himself?
I had a hard time following this post. Everybody here just sounds really petty. If somebody is that close of friends, the engaged friend should personally tell their friend about getting engaged. They shouldn’t rely on a social media post for everybody to find out. But on the other hand, your boyfriend still could’ve congratulated him. Everyone here is TA.
there’s a whole lot of assuming going on and no direct conversations. if you know the guy got engaged then just congratulate him and leave it at that, especially if he only has facebook and you only have instagram.
plus, it seems like the engaged guy isn’t excited about being engaged? you mention how she’s going off about venues, rings, etc., but he seems like he couldn’t be bothered at all. so waiting for him to announce it in person or bring it up may not be the best move either.
YTA. You knew your best friend got engaged but decided he had to specifically tell you before you acknowledge it??? You made it about you????
ESH. It doesn’t really sound like you all are close, and I don’t really see why everyone freaked out over this. You all are devoting too much effort and time into this man’s relationship.
ESH. You all need to get over yourselves. Your bf is making this engagement all about him —- no one told him, but you could’ve, why didn’t you? I’m sure the best friend assumed you told him because you congratulated them.
BF’ bff is an asshole for the shut up ring. His gf is an asshole for pressuring someone to marry them.
No one in this group should be marrying anyone. There doesn’t seem to be an adult in this group. You all are stuck in high school.
You know. You’ve heard. He knows you know. Why would he announce or tell you something he already knows you know? And why not congratulate him on the thing you all know he knows you know?
This feels like a badly-written version of an episode of FRIENDS.
ESH
ESH
None of you guys are as interesting or as important as you think you are. You all need to grow up
Seriously, how old are all of these people? Based on the pettiness all around and the writing quality (who the hell is OP talking about at any point in time?!) I can’t imagine they’re over 20.
The post was a jumbled mess. I’m surprised any of them are old enough to marry. Absolute junior high vibes
This is written in the most confusing way, use **names**, not pronouns and ‘bf’. I don’t know if bf stands for best friend, boyfriend or both in this mess.
Hahaha I know and what does “on the game” mean?
YTA. I can’t understand this. But if someone who is a friend gets engaged, you congratulate them. That’s how friendships work
ESH. And you all need to grow up.