AITA for not doing anything my moms boyfriend asks because hes always rude and doesnt help
For privacy reasons I will call my mom’s boyfriend Tom (NOT his real name)
I’m 14M and I live with my mom, Tom, and my 3 siblings. The problem is he yells constantly. He gets into petty arguments with my mom and my brother. He wants everything has to go his way.
Tom is unemployed and he stays home ALL day without doing ANYTHING. His daily routine is basically watching TV from the couch while he complains about things which are not done according to his exact specifications. Even when my mom ask for him to get up and try to help her with the bills he doesn’t do anything even if he says he will.
The things I handle include cleaning my room completing my homework and helping my mother whenever she requests my help yet he creates the impression that I am wrong for not complying with his every command
My mom keeps telling me I need to respect him and that Im disrespectful but it feels unfair because he contributes nothing.
So AITA for not doing what my moms boyfriend asks because he yells all the time and doesnt help around the house
Why exactly is your mom with this man? It’s sounds like he contributes absolutely nothing
NTA.
Fuck Tom.
NTA your family deserves so much better
hey! so you’re NTA but i was in a similar situation and here’s the advice i can give you.
if there’s no chance your mom will listen to you and your siblings and leave him, you just have to keep your head down and do what he says until you’re old enough to leave. my mom was with a guy the same as tom from when i was 10-16. he was the worst and he put me through hell. he tanked my mental health and i was suicidal through my early teen years.
that being said, men like this can get violent really quickly. it sucks to have to do what he says, i know, but it’s the safest option for you and your siblings and your mom. once you’re out of there, if he’s still around, tell him whatever you want. you’ll be an adult and not under his roof.
good luck, be safe!
i’m 22 now and i wish my mom broke up with her tom later so i could’ve given him a piece of my mind lol. but it does get better!!
Tell mom he has to earn respect and you should get it for being her child.
But even then He’s not your dad
Respect is earned. Not demanded. I wouldn’t respect that loser either. NTA
This negative experience will one day assist you at making better decisions about who you allow into your life. Just an aside where is your real Dad?
NTA I would very much want to ask her what it is he does that she thinks if deserving of respect, but you’re 14 and that’s literally just going to get you into trouble.
You’re not the asshole here, and I don’t think you’re wrong, but you’re definitely limited as to how much you can do about it while being so young. You do unfortunately need to go along with your mother with this type of thing. Just know that IF they’re still together when you end up moving out, you can tell both of them exactly how you feel, and you won’t have to deal with their garbage anymore.
“My mom keeps telling me I need to respect him ” Respect him for what, being a lazy freeloader? I wouldn’t be respectful of him either.
Oops, NTA.
Respect is earned through actions and contribution, not just by shouting like a freaking spoiled toddler. You are already handling your own business and helping your mom while he does absolutely nothing to improve the family dynamic. Ignoring the bait during his petty arguments makes the yelling lose its power over you.
NTA – she needs to tell you a good reason why you should respect him. She can’t. She’s in a shitty relationship, so mostly Tom is the ah, but like.. she enables it. Yuck.