For this you have to know that I am a black woman, in a predominantly white area. I also cheer for the basketball team at my school. This is important. At our game our coach was complaining about a group of 3 black girls being rude to her, them being black was not important, just a descriptive word. I do not hangout with people like that (disrespectful, rude, etc.) in school or outside, the only thing similar were our skin tones. Keep in mind I am one of 3 POC on my team, including my coach. Another girl on the team after my coach says that, proceeds to tell me to “keep my friends in check.” I found that weird, as I’ve never spoken to them or been associated with them.
I told her that the joke seemed weird and she was stereotyping. She got very defensive and said that she was joking and would’ve said that to anyone. I’ve asked other people in my life if it seemed like she was stereotyping or just ignorant and I have gotten mixed response, so I want to know AITA for not taking it as a joke and finding it offensive?
NTA. Doesn’t really sound like a joke to me. Just racist and rude.
NTA. Her statement inplies that just because you’re black you’re an associate of those girls. Good for you to call it out. Microaggessions need to be addressed in the moment.
She was definitely typecasting you and got defensive when you called her out. She is TA, not you.
NTA – its good you called her out for it.
NTA. That doesn’t sound like a joke. Your teammate was being an asshole.
It was only a joke to your teammate. People tend to get too familiar and think everything they say is supposed to roll off your back, be funny, or shouldn’t matter at all. Been there done that and got rid of the trash. NTA
NTA. That was offensive. And your teammate was scrambling to cover her major blunder.
NTA. Definite microaggression.
NTA. She was stereotyping: “they’re black people and you’re black, so they must be your friends.”
Another time, please ask her to explain the joke. You’ve never seen these girls before and have no more and no less responsibility to keep them in check than she does, so what’s the joke? Why is it funny?
NTA
She wouldn’t have said that to a white person about a random group of white people that she had never seen them around.
It was definitely racial, and she just got mad because you called her out on it.
People who accidentally say something they didn’t realize was going to come across as rude, or hurtful, or offensive – apologize.
Like, right away.
The people who did not mean it the way it came out are the ones who fall all over themselves trying to apologize because they didn’t mean it that way, and they feel bad because they hurt somebody that they didn’t mean to hurt.
The ones who get pissed off are the ones who meant exactly what they said and didn’t expect to get called out.
That’s how you know the difference.
NTA. Thay girl is racist AF and she’s trying to play it off by saying she was joking. Well…if you tell a racist joke, you are a racist.
NTA. That was an ignorant comment on her part. It’s not ok. Tell her she needs to do better.
If enough people are called out for stupid remarks like this, maybe stupid people will learn. It’s not a joke. It’s seriously offensive.
(Just for background, I’m, like, the whitest of white, and an older lady. We are with you. It’s not ok. )
NTA. She would never have made that “joke” if you belonged to the majority race on the team. She was way out of line.
NTA.
The joke she was going for is “all black people know each other”. But it isn’t a funny joke, AND it just serves to emphasize that you are different from most of the rest of the group. Might be ill intent, or might be dumb, but definitely you are not TA for not enjoying it.