So for some context not that much is really needed but me (f)and my bf live together but for work reasons he was staying at his moms house this week cause it’s closer by to the site he’s working at. It was my bfs birthday 2 days ago and we couldn’t be together because we were both working so he decided to have his party tomorrow… but at his moms okay so far !! Because she got a very nice big backyard I get it .
I was supposed to go and was cool with that until today we were on FT and his mom randomly starts talking to me and just goes “ omg you just keep getting fatter “ mind u this is not the first time she’s said something along these lines . I tried to play it of during the call bcs I got so uncomfortable, he noticed but didn’t say anything as she was saying this to me.
I later texted him that I was very uncomfortable and quite frankly just flabbergasted that she would say something like that so unprompted we are not even close at all to the point that she could be joking you know .
Anyways bf says he’s getting shit while it’s not his fault because he didn’t say it and he doesn’t think that and that she’s just kinda random / crazy and to ignore it . He’s making me feel as if I’m the one ruining it because I shouldn’t mind since she’s just random like that …
Anyways please please tell me AITA
NTA. Your bf’s mom is one, and so is your boyfriend for not sticking up for you. If he’s so weak he can’t defend you to his own mom, you’d be better off finding someone who respects you.
His mom is being cruel and he’s enabling it by not standing up for you. “She’s just random” isn’t an excuse for repeated body shaming. You deserve better than this treatment from both of them.
And I struggle so bad with body image , he’s aware of it … legit felt like crying when I heard her say it
At least she knows he will never have her back on anything.
NTA. Well played mom. Ruined another.
“Are you this rude to everyone or just me?”
Should have said it but I just freeze
Have a friend (not him) work with you on practicing/role play. Learn to say things out loud, clearly and calmly. Say the words out loud when you’re alone driving, so that you become accustomed to hearing yourself speak up.
As a person who was raised to never say no, always accept and make myself smaller, this is an acquired skill. It really does help to begin saying things out loud when you’re alone. I still have difficulty speaking up but I am improving and you will, too.
She’s not going to change but a couple of clap backs, especially loud enough for others around to hear, and she will pick on someone else.
NTA and run now, save yourself a lifetime of trouble. He will always defend her.
NTA – I would re-evaluate your relationship. Look over at r/JUSTNOMIL.
Yout BF’s not “getting shit”. Youre just not going to a stupid f’ng b’s house. NTA
Nta and maybe it’s time to reconsider your relationship. You want to deal with that for the next few decades until the witch kicks the bucket? Imagine how much damage she will do to your kids if they don’t pass inspection. Imagine how much damage she’s already done to you.
NTA I’m sorry to say this but it will probably never get any better with BFs mother. She is an unkind and ignorant person. Sadly it seems like your BF enables this. Who knows what the backstory of that family dynamic is. That stuff gets complicated. Not saying to end the relationship if you think there’s a chance for it, but maybe establish very firm boundaries. Maybe have no or very little contact with the mother. You do not deserve to be spoken to or about that way. Don’t allow that disrespect in early stages of a relationship. It will only continue and get worse. Trust me.
For the rest of your life, you WILL be 10000000% expected to stfu and swallow it all down. He will never instinctually come to your defense. He is not a man, just a grown child. Pls rethink your life choice. NTA