(English is not my first language and I haven’t taken any lessons in 3 years so excuse any misspellings or grammar mistakes)
I (m 20) study in a really small university, there are only about 20 or 25 students in my building and only 6 guys (2 of them are over 50) so I usually hang out in the recesses with these 2 guys (20 and 25 and another one who is doing his thesis so he doesnt really come often (28)), my girl roommate and a girl who is on her first year
I take studying seriously, I try to study every day since I depend on a scholarship and want to keep my average around 8,5 or higher if possible, my college mates dont really take it that seriously, they usually fail 2 or 3 courses each semester. I also go to the gym on the evenings since I need to lose weight for a surgery and on Fridays I go to my hometown as soon as I can since weekends are the only days I get to see my parents and dog and id rather not drive at night. I also study the branch of my career that has the most hours, both in class and self study
I have said no to hanging out on Fridays multiple times (we did hang out on the last day of last semester, I cooked them lunch and they came to my flat), today they also wanted to hang out and I said no, that I had to go to the gym and study afterwards and the 25 m said that I could survive without going to the gym and studying everyday, and the 28 m started ranting about how he hates the uni and should be burned down
Look, i understand some people dont like studying but this is not obligatory teaching, you chose to be here. I like my degree, I like my field of work and want to be good at it, and it takes time and effort
Am I the asshole for not hanging out with them? We already see each other everyday and hanged out a month ago, I don’t see why I should just be available all the time, specially when the guy who complained also didn’t want to hang out today. The guys who complained also live with their parents and see them everyday yet they make me feel like the bad guy for wanting to see mine on the weekends
NTA.
Even without all the (very valid) reasoning, it’s always okay to say “no” if you don’t feel like hanging out.
Different people have different social batteries and priorities. You’re not pushing them into binge-studying sessions, they shouldn’t push you into hanging out when you don’t feel like it.