Quick context, my family tends to be bad with money, when I buy things and ask to get paid back it tends to only be my dad who pays me back (he pays for my mom too).
I (28f) wanted to go to a sporting event for my birthday. I invited my family and told them ahead of time the price of the tickets. It’s a small league game so the tickets were pretty cheap. My dad paid me back, my older brother (30M) and younger sibling (21S) did not. Flash forward a month later we are talking about birthday plans for my mom. Last year we went to a NBA game which my dad fronted the money and we paid him back. Obviously I paid but can’t confirm my siblings. This year I wanted to take that strain from him as he’s recently started living the “retired life” and is enjoying hobbies left and right. I took lead on this I talked to the ticket people in advance. I told them the price, they seemed to be okay with it but I hesitated and didn’t actually buy the tickets. And I’m glad I didn’t. As we got closer to the game and I was still waiting for the previous payments from them both (that was significantly cheaper because NBA games get pricey). I decided to instead get 3 tickets, take my mom and dad (not charging them) and we enjoyed the game. Now it’s after the game, I’ve posted on social media, it’s well after my mom’s bday (she LOVED the game it literally ended in a fight). My older brother is mad that I didn’t get his ticket and that he didn’t get to join us. He’s calling me selfish and that I ruined a “tradition” and on our mother’s birthday. We did this ONCE before I wouldn’t call it a tradition. But I don’t know. My mom didn’t ask who was coming she didn’t ask if they were coming later she was just happy and enjoyed the game, we also walked around the first floor to get some pics and stuff. So.. AITA for breaking this “tradition” because my siblings never paid me back for previous tickets?
(Extra context, I’m unemployed, was laid off in October. I have money I’m not living under a rock and my bank account is just fine. I’m not necessarily after the money.. it’s the fact that this trend with my older brother started with him “borrowing” money when I was a broke college student and never paying me back… my younger sibling understands and did not care)
NOR, especially since you said your mother didn’t ask who was coming and it wasn’t like a set strict event with planning and stuff.
If they wanted to do smth for your mother’s birthday, they should get her their own gifts to give. Paying for them would’ve made it a group gift and such
Nta. They’re upset because their free ride is over.
NTA. If you had paid, you would have cemented the precedent that they can continue to freeload. It’s simple, pay your own way!
NTA. Your siblings are free loaders.
Stop paying for these people?
NTA. “I’m unemployed and don’t have the budget to front the money. Since you didn’t give me the money for the ticket, I understood that you weren’t going but just didn’t get around to telling me.” Then make it known that you won’t be fronting any money for tickets and gifts going forward. Nip it in the bud, especially since you have a reason to do it now.
Dearest brother,
When you didn’t send money over for me to purchase a ticket for you, I assumed you couldn’t afford to go.
The tradition where he gets to do but he doesn’t have to pay. That tradition. NTA
The *tradition* your brother is complaining about is you paying for the tickets and him not paying you back. NTA and maybe next time he’ll take it a bit more seriously. In fact, maybe next time he can pay for the tickets and you can pay him back – at your leisure.
Nta
NTA. And tell them why you didn’t buy tickets for them so next time there is no confusion. And next time, ask for $$$ to purchase the tickets—no $$$, no ticket.
Soft Esh. You definitely shouldn’t pay for their tickets but you can give a hard deadline. I’m buying tickets Monday. I need your money by Sunday or I’m not buying your tickets.
However at the end of the day mom and dad were happy so that’s the important part.
I’d tell your brother he is selfish because he still owes you money. NTA and don’t ever buy tickets for them again.
NTA…They had plenty of time to inquire and buy their own tickets. They simply wanted a free game. I’m glad your mother had a great time. That’s what’s important.