Okay so I (m15) do a lot of arts and crafts and am known in the family for my creative ability. My sister (19f) also enjoys doing crafts so I usually have no problem letting her use my supplies.
I have a 15 pound tub of air dry clay that I use quite often but I let her use this anytime she wants as long as she doesn’t take too much. She lives with her boyfriend (23m) and often takes some home in a plastic bag. Now she is very talkative about her relationship dispite the fact she knows how much me and all of our other siblings do not like her boyfriend for reasons where it’s not my place to discuss.
Today she wanted to do arts and crafts with me where we shape clay around magnets to have cool 3D magnets to put on the fridge.
This is an idea I thought of a few weeks ago and was really excited to do this with her because she hasn’t been home in a few days.
This is where the story takes a turn.
When we began she said out theme could be vampires because I’ve been really into iwtv recently and she’s a big fan of tvd. Her clay shaped out a heart and she would ask me ways to help her heart come up better. Our other sister was in the room and she made a joke saying her heart was shaped like a certain male organ. Because of this comment my Older sister figured ir would be funny to change her clay from a heart to penis and ar first we all thought it was a funny joke but she was serious.
Even worse she started acting like her usual self and over sharing about her boyfriend (saying he is the reference and other stuff regarding that)
I became very uncomfortable but she doesn’t care because I am usually always uncomfortable when she overshares. After she was done with her magnet, I noticed she was calling someone.
It was her boyfriend.
She knows how we all feel about him and her and his conversation about her creation made the entire activity feel like a horrible idea because why didn’t I see this coming.
I finished my magnet (which was vampire fangs with song lyrics on them) and put it on the fridge because I was quite proud of my work then my sister put her magnet on there as well.
Her magnet was grossly realistic and too heavy to even stay on the fridge for that long. After that I said, "remind me to never let you use my clay again" and she was confused. She said that’s unfair because I gave her permission to use her clay millions of times so how could I control what she makes and how at his house he doesn’t have any art supplies so she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to express her feelings through art like she used to before she moved out. The argument was short and I felt very bad after. Our household was also a very artsy house hold and everyone did some type of art. I feel like I ruined her joy of being able to spend time and make art with me but am I the asshole for this?
Set boundaries upfront we can do crafts together, but no sexual jokes or references about your boyfriend.
NTA – what is stopping your older sister buying her own supplies and having them in her home?
She disrespect you while using your art materials and feels entitled to your items you paid for because you shared before? She’s lame.
She is an adult and sexually active and fair enough you aren’t comfortable with sexual stuff, but maybe respect she can make what she wants or you could ask her to keep things more PG in future as you felt uncomfortable. NTA but you are young and have growing up to do, she probably forgot that.
They are going to delete this