I (28F) have a younger brother (26M) who grew up with a very different financial experience than I did. He was the golden child whereas I was the “you’re so mature for your age” child. #iykyk
My parents paid for his college, let him stay with them rent free for years, and still step in whenever life gets too hard for him. I moved out at 18, worked my ass off, and accepted that instant ramen and thrifted clothes were fine.
Recently, I got my own small and humble apartment. It’s not much and pretty much empty at this point but it’s mine and I love it.
Last week, my brother called me and demanded that I give him (not lend) a few thousand bucks because he was behind on rent and might get evicted.
I politely told him that I couldn’t as I was already on a tight budget, saving up for furniture, and trying to build an emergency fund.
He immediately lost it and told me I owe him because:
1. We’re family
2. I’m doing better than him
3. He let me play with his toys when we were kids (which is not true btw)
I said that I can sympathize with him given the unfortunate situation, but I seriously cannot afford to give away any money considering my circumstances. I suggested that he ask our parents, as they would surely help him out.
He got mad and said they already do enough and now it was my turn. He even accused me of being selfish and greedy, even though he’s the one who never even gets me a Christmas present.
I must add that he takes his girlfriend out on fancy dates and buys her stuff I could never afford. Apparently rent just didn’t make the budget.
The saddest part is that even my parents later called and took his side. They insisted that I chip in being the big and responsible sister, as it was the least I could do.
I’ve been ignoring their calls and texts for days but I feel on edge and guilty.
So… AITA?
Nta if I were you I would cut them all off you don’t owe him anything
NTA
What an entitled shit he is.
Block him and your parents.
NTA. Your parents have enabled him until he cannot take care of himself. Either he’ll get the kick in the face to grow up and do better, or he won’t, and he’ll blame everyone else for his problems.
Either way, it isn’t your responsibility.
NTA, you need a new family, yours sucks.
NTA I would go no or low contact with all of them.
NTA. He says it’s “your turn”? For what, exactly? To support his freeloading ass? Ask him when it’s going to be “his turn”.
Right. Little bro, can you give me several thousand plz
NTA, guilty about what? Putting yourself first? If you don’t, who will? Clearly not your Parents and brother. Keep to your boundaries, don’t throw good money after bad, and go low contact. I will add one more. Every time anyone brings up money just say my finances are my business alone and if you insist on talking about my money I will hang up/leave. It’s a good time to keep them all out of your home. It’s harder to kick someone out than to leave.
NTA.
Your first mistake was telling him you have savings. You should have told him you don’t have any. Now your parents and him will hound you and hound you.
Even if he did “let you play with his toys”, bought you lavish gifts every birthday and Christmas, and was the best little brother any sister could ask for, you don’t owe him a thing. Any chance you can go NC with the lot of them?
Edit: typos
Honestly I’m still building my savings and don’t have much at the moment. I am trying to cut them off but I feel bad about it. But I need to stay strong 🤞🏻
That’s what you should have/should say: “I don’t even have that much money, I just paid for/am paying for a house and I can’t get that mo back.” Then, if you can’t go NC (or not right away), NEVER mention you are saving up for anything. NEVER allude to how much you earn. Maybe complain all the time about how making ends meet is so hard.
NTA he can absolutely sit on it and spin.
Doesnt he know the youths are supposed to take care of the elders, anyway? 😉 He aught to be giving you money.
YTA for posting things that didnt happen
“Sorry, I can’t afford to buy your son’s girlfriend a new bag”
Because really it’s your parents’ fault all of this is happening. Stand your ground and sing “lalalalala I can’t hear you” at them until they go away.