I gave me partner a painting for her birthday by one of her favorite artists. She already owns several pieces from this artist.
A while back, the artist was having a sale and my partner mentioned she was thinking about buying one, but decided not to when she realized the price was in USD and not CAD, making it too expensive. I ended up buying the piece as a surprise for her birthday. It cost me about $1,400 CAD.
Afterward, she told me that it would cost around $850 CAD to get the piece professionally framed. Apparently, this specific artwork required a special frame and glass to properly preserve it, which is also what the artist recommends. The pieces also tend to appreciate in value, so proper framing matters.
My partner is now upset because she feels that she’s stuck paying for the framing, which she says isn’t affordable for her. She believes that since I bought the artwork as a gift, I should have agreed to cover the framing as well, and that otherwise it’s "not really gift" if she now has to spend $850 because of it.
From my perspective, I already spent a significant amount on the gift itself, and I didn’t realize framing would cost that much. I also didn’t intend to give her a financial burden, I just wanted to surprise her with something meaningful.
She has also expressed frustration that she had to bring this to my attention and that I didn’t realize or come to the conclusion on my own.
AITA for not paying for the framing?
NAH
Yes, you bought an incredibly generous gift. Yes, that gift is also a burden for her, because she cannot currently afford to give it proper care.
Work TOGETHER to sort out something that happened from ignorance, not malice.
Nta – you bought the painting with the understanding she was committed to buying it but with the $ conversion she couldn’t afford it. So she would have been paying to frame it anyway. What was her plan? She seemed to be giving a good hint about her budget so is she oblivious or manipulative?
She could have been thinking about the cost of framing and that could have been a factor in not making the purchase and she didn’t mention it. We don’t know.
Tell her for Christmas you’ll get it framed for her
This! Store the painting in the meantime and then get it framed for Christmas
This is a tough one!
I’m an artist and I collect art. And yes, framing is sometimes as expensive as the art itself! Especially when it needs a glass cover for certain oil based media that never fully dries.
Each person is different though. I rather have a piece I really want, and safely store it away until I can afford to frame it. I actually have done this several times.
I do also agree that a gift with conditions that requires more money to be spent is usually half a gift though… 😅
So while I see why she is upset, I also feel like she is being very ungrateful as Art is unfortunately a luxury at this point in time in history. She is lucky that she has Someone thoughtful who thought of her and spent that kind of money on her. $1400 is no joke.
PLUS, I would add that the $800 sounds like the amount she was willing to spend before she found out it was in US and not Canadian….
I used to work in framing, I collect animation art and I frame my own needlework, so I’m pretty familiar with fine art framing and the eye-watering costs involved. I love art, I love giving art and I would never give a piece of art unframed. I also understand that not everyone knows how much framing a piece of art can cost, especially when conservation is involved. I recall so many “This is going to cost me how much?” conversations when I was pricing out orders.
That being said, I feel like OP should have done some due diligence and looked into how much it was going to cost to properly frame this piece before he bought it. Because yeah, he’s basically given his GF half a gift and doesn’t seem to have any intention of buying the other half. I’ve bought art things for my husband and given him just the art and then it’s like, “And now we’re going to the framer to pick out the frame.”
At the very least, keep an eye out for a big frame retailer like Michaels or whatever the Canadian equivalent is when they do a big coupon. Here in the US they do like a 75% off. My BFF got a giant stitching project done by them and she was satisfied with the work.
Since you have experience in this area, you might know – does it have to be this particular $850 framing, or could they do a cheaper option? Just wondering whether keeping it in whatever packaging it was sent it, or getting a cheaper framing would be the better option, if they just can’t afford the expensive framing?
It all depend on how big the peice is. And they mentioned it needs glass, and that’s usually expensive as you want a special glass that won’t smudge the painting, it needs to be installed a certain way, and also you need the glass that doesn’t glare/catch the light.
So while I’m sure there are some cheaper options, I honestly don’t think it will be much cheaper. Like a difference of $200-300 at the MOST, and that’s me giving a lot of wiggle room.
Honestly, a really good frame job with beautiful wood can be just as expensive as any peice of art. Many times a frame can be as beautiful as the art itself.
I started wood working just to learn to do my own framing. 😅 Because I wanted beautiful frames but can’t afford the prices that come from hiring a professional woodworker.
I guess I would offer to sell it for her. She wanted it, would have gotten it if it had been in CAD from the start and paid for the framing herself obviously, so where did all that money go? Basically is like you paid for 1/2 to 2/3 of what she wanted and expressed she would have bought if it was merely 1/3 cheaper, so yes, it is incomplete, but I would have been thrilled if someone chipped in to get me something I wanted.
Maybe in the future I’d not surprise her because it is work that has been sprung on her, but NTA, just an oversight.
INFO: how did the artwork arrive? Was it rolled in a tube, wrapped in paper, or come in a box? However the artwork was stored for transit should give you an idea of how your girlfriend should store it for now so it remains undamaged.
That way the artwork is safe until she has the funds to frame it how she likes.
In the meantime it will be safely stored and gifts certificates to a good framing store will be great ideas for you or her family to do over the holidays.
I understand her frustration that the artwork won’t be able to be displayed for now but I hope she still appreciates the fact she has a piece from her favorite artist.
Maybe store the artwork, then at the next gift giving event, get her the frame.
Not sure why the piece can’t just be stored for now.
NAH. You bought her a gift that requires her to spend a large amount of money. It was a generous intention, but you can surely appreciate the squeeze she’s now in.
Nothing is going to happen to that painting in the year she can take to save up for the frame she thinks it needs as long as she’s not smoking like a chimney or using it as a coaster.
Signed,
Former Art Consultant