I (43 F) and my husband (44M) took a lunch break today to shovel snow. We live in a city where we are responsible for shoveling our sidewalks within 24 hours of snowfall or we can be ticketed. We usually take turns shoveling and prioritize the sidewalk to avoid ticketing and trying to be good neighbors.
Today was his turn. I had a break from meetings so I joined him and told him I would shovel too. We go out and I start to shovel the driveway and he starts on the sidewalk. He starts grumping at me and asks “why are you wasting time on the driveway?” I told him, “It’s your turn to shovel the sidewalk. I’m doing the driveway.” He continues grumping at me the whole time and telling me I’m being stubborn.
It’s 15 and sunny with a windchill of -9. This is the last day it will be safe to be outside for long enough to shovel for the next 5 days. I am certain we will end up with ice slicks from our tires for the next month if we don’t do it now. He says I’m wrong and we would be able to clear the snow when it’s warmer.
AITA for insisting on shoveling the driveway and not helping with the sidewalk?
NTA. I hate ice slicks.
NTA. Good luck being snowed in with Grumpy
While it was nice to help him, and he should have appreciated that, you stated in your own post that you prioritize the sidewalk to avoid fines. He probably was just grumpy that you didn’t follow what you guys agreed to with that.
That’s a fair point.
NTA. You are being smart. That doesn’t mean that your husband is automatically the AH. Shoveling is a huge chore and he’s allowed to have feelings. I only mention because I wasn’t sure if you were implicitly asking that too.
I don’t necessarily think he’s the AH but maybe mildly. lol.
NTA. First, I want to say thank you to you both for being responsible and taking care of the sidewalks. I live in a snowy place with lots of hills and it is absolute hell in winter given how shoddy people are about sidewalks. Second, it sounds like you went out of your way to do something productive for your family. He is upset that you didn’t help him with the work that was his–it was his turn, per the routine you’ve established. You could have sat inside and had a nice cup of hot tea. Instead, you went out into the freezing cold do do additional shoveling of the driveway, helping out the household. Unless he routinely helps you do the sidewalk when it’s your turn, he had no reason to expect you to do so.
NTA. Given the short window you have to get it done, both jobs needed to be done and quickly.
NTA on this occasion for doing the driveway. I think the whole “split shoveling” setup is kind of weird, but that’s a different topic. I actually find it more concerning that this would be a source of friction at all, unless it was just a difference of opinion and not a serious disagreement.
However, I agree 100% about not wanting to shovel ice slicks from tires. If it snows overnight, I will get up at 5 am to shovel the drive before my wife drives over it on her way to work.
It’s not serious friction. Just a minor annoyance. We laugh about this subreddit all the time and I think he’ll laugh about this.
NTA…you were both shoveling. He had help and company. It ALL needs to get done eventually.
You shovel snow in 15 degrees and that’s warm? With a windchill of -9.
Jesus, I would be dead. LMAO! (I live in Texas).
Btw…NAH.
Not warm, safe. I don’t want to leave my house at all right now.