Some context: I’ve had my dog for a little over 5 years. We’ll call him Henry. Our routine is basically the same every day: I get up, get ready for the day, if I’m going to work I grab my lunch and make breakfast, give Henry his meds, fill his food and water bowls, and then we go outside to potty right before I leave. I’ve found it’s the best routine for us as he has separation anxiety (hence the Prozac) and he barks the least when he goes out right before I leave and he runs over and starts eating his food when I walk out the door. Sometimes, on the weekends, I still follow this same routine even if I’ve slept in and it’s been a little longer since I took him out last. However, it works for us and he doesn’t have accidents inside as he doesn’t drink water or eat before bed. More important context is that my dog does not signal that he wants to go out, ever, and is very low energy in general. He mainly lays around and when it’s time to go out he goes out.
This morning my boyfriend and I were in bed and were finally deciding to get up to get ready for the day. We slept in probably an hour later than normal. He said “maybe you should take Henry out before we shower, he’s been waiting, what if he has to go”. I didn’t think much of it, but I was like he’s fine, we do this every day. My boyfriend insisted that we should take him out, but I was like just let me get ready and then I will. Again, this is how we always do it, and I don’t like getting dressed to take him outside and then take everything off to shower when he’s fine to wait.
My boyfriend was like I’ll just take him outside myself, so I started getting ready. I didn’t think much of it until a while had passed and I realized my boyfriend was still downstairs and sitting on the couch. I came down and asked what was wrong, and he said he thought I was “selfish as f\*\*k” for not taking Henry out sooner and that I should have more empathy for my dog. There was more to what he said but that was the gist.
I was and still am very, very confused. I just don’t get where this came from, but also, I don’t see where I’m an unempathetic and selfish asshole for wanting to shower and get dressed before leashing up and taking him out. My boyfriend basically said that I was a bad dog parent because I didn’t want to go through a minor inconvenience to take my dog out 30 minutes sooner just because he thought I should.
AITA????
I’m with your boyfriend 🤷♂️
I’m leaning towards NAH. Sounds like Henry needs to be the one to clear things up. If he doesn’t have a way to signal then I would personally be more proactive. Get him some potty bells or a doorbell button so he can tell you when he needs to go. Takes the guess work out of the equation and you will actually know what he needs
YTA. your poor dog. Just because they can hold it doesn’t mean they should! Holding their small bladder overnight is a long time and when morning comes they need go. Think about how miserable it is when you really have to pee badly. Taking an hour or more to get ready before taking the dog out seems cruel to me.
YTA, I let my dog out in the morning before I even pee myself. There’s no reason you can’t throw on some PJ pants and quickly take out the dog.
I agree with this. pee first, then food & water, then you get ready. Poor dog sitting there with his legs crossed while you put your eyelashes on. Wait, what? You give the dog Prozac?
YTA
Just because your dog *can* wait until you’re good and ready doesn’t mean it’s right to make him wait. You could probably go 12-14-16 hours without a bathroom break too – does that mean you want to, or that it would be okay for someone to force that on you?
Agree with the boyfriend. This is an awful way to treat your dog. Shows a general lack of care for your pet that relies on you.
Don’t you go to the bathroom first thing in the morning?
This is just awful behavior. YTA.
YTA. Back in the days of apartment living I would literally put a robe on and take my dogs out in my pj’s before I did my morning routine. Even now in my suburban neighborhood, it’s not out of the ordinary to see people out with their dogs in their pj’s. You don’t need to shower before you take your dog out, he’s just too well behaved to go inside.
It’s simple. Anyone faced with “should I try hardest to be a better person” and decides not to is an A hole.
Stop looking to the internet for people to support you. Do better. It goes for everything. You’ll be proud of yourself for doing more. Stop fighting it.
Yta. Take your dog out to go pee.
If you’re withholding water from your dog at night so he doesn’t have to pee, YTA.
How would you feel if you had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t go yourself, and the person responsible for taking you was moseying around sleeping in for an HOUR and then going about their morning routine with no rush?
YTA. Your dog deserves better.
YTA. Take your dog out once you wake up, and then take him for another little walk before you leave.
YTA take the dog out. Poor thing. You can take him out again before you leave too! As the dog gets older it’s going to be more and more important that he gets out asap and often.