Sorry for my bad English, it is not my first language.
I am a big fan of BTS, but my boyfriend really dislikes them. He says things like “they are disgusting,” “they look gay,” “I don’t get what you see in them,” and “they just use their fans.” It hurts me and always kills my excitement when I talk about them.
Sometimes he gives me BTS gifts and says he supports my interest, and he likes one member (RM). But for me, his negative comments are much more noticeable than any support. I always try to show interest in what he likes: I watch his favorite shows, listen about his favorite writers, and even play his favorite video game. I don’t expect anything back, but I would like at least some respect for what I like. Instead, he criticizes everything about BTS.
Now BTS is having a world tour and there will be concerts in my country. I want to go, but I don’t want him to come. Besides not liking BTS, we also have problems with concerts. I’ve loved going to concerts since before we started dating; it’s something I got from my dad and I go whenever I can afford it. My boyfriend thinks concerts are a waste of money and that idolizing artists is stupid. But he still insists on going with me, and every time we go, we end up fighting.
He always starts a big argument on the day of the concert, even when it’s an artist he likes. It feels like he does it on purpose. He also drinks too much during concerts, so I have to take care of him. When I try to talk about it, he says I’m trying to control him or limit his fun. We watched BTS concerts at the movie theater a couple of times, and both times he got drunk and started fights before the show. I really don’t like going to concerts with him, but he minimizes my feelings.
I’ve been a fan since 2020 and I’ve waited a long time for this tour. I have money for a decent ticket, but my boyfriend keeps insisting that he wants to go with me, and I absolutely don’t want him there. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want him drunk, and I don’t want this concert to be ruined.
At first he said he would help me pay because he earns more than I do. That made me happy, but later I saw him spending on other things and I complained. He got mad because I refused a pedicure he offered me (he has a foot fetish). I wanted the BTS ticket, not that, and he said I was obsessed.
After that, I decided not to accept any money from him and I apologized. Now he offers to pay for his own ticket and give me extra money for a better seat, but I still said no. I don’t see why he should go if he hates BTS and concerts. It feels like he just wants to ruin my experience and take a spot from a real fan.
He keeps insisting and acting like the victim. He also complains that “all I talk about is BTS,” calls them “disgusting,” and says their performances are “trash,” but still wants to come with me. That makes me feel guilty and confused.
I really don’t know what to do.