This is my first AITA and I saw the rules so I’m not sure if it breaks the rules (please tell me if it does :<)
I (F16) have been dealing with trouble in breathing and heart problems in the hospital for three months straight now, still no sure diagnosis but the closest we found is PAH or something similar to it, still no idea really and that terrifies me but basically, I’m dying and my heart is growing weaker and I’m medically doing very terrible
I was able to hangout with my friendgroup from school while sick but lately a girl from the group named Sara, has been talking behind my back about me being mentally unstable after telling her I’ve been dealing with depression for years and I still go to therapy ever since I was 7, she also said other stuff which is too long to list
I’ve told the group I’m disappointed they’re pretending that Sara didn’t talk about me sickly after knowing what she said about me but I brushed it off cause I wasn’t even sure if it’s a big deal, just unfollowed everyone other than Amy
Two days ago I went out with an old friend named Beck (F19) that graduated last year that was close with me and Amy
Me and my Beck went out to grab gifts for Amy cause her birthday passed like two weeks ago and I couldn’t get her a gift because I was mentally exhausted and unsure if she’s still my friend, I was busy with the hospital but I was still able to get her gifts but I didn’t want to, Beck insisted I grab a gift for Amy since I invited her to my birthday at Dec 31st so we went and I did, I grabbed a bunch of stuff that me and Beck split evenly
Yesterday at school I grabbed Amy’s arm while she walked past me and she clearly looked like she doesn’t want talk with me, I asked her if we could talk or walk for a moment and she refused, I was confused but saw she was with a girl from the old friend group so I let her be
At home I decided to text her, turns out she unfollowed me, asked her about it and she blamed an instagram glitch, also said I love accusing her and that she wants to sleep even when Beck sent a message in the groupchat saying Amy should explain wtf is going on
Today I was busy doing some work at the principals office with my laptop (all day long and I’ll probably be till next week) so I wasn’t able to talk to her again, I again today texted her (perhaps harshly) if we are pretending nothing is going on when clearly something is happening, she didn’t reply
I told Beck I do not want to give the gifts to Amy but Beck is insisting since she paid her fair share of money for Amy and she still considers Amy as a friend, I don’t mind Amy and Beck being friends my problem is that Amy has strict parents and can’t go out (rarely can) and the only way to give the gift is by me at school, it I don’t want to, I feel forced to do it.
NTA, however it’s not a hill you should die on. You’re sick, exhausted, and you should just let go of the toxic people in your life. Let Amy have the gift, and gift yourself with the peace of mind that you did everything you could to save the friendship.
Take care of yourself OP
Didn’t know why I teared, I guess I really did need to hear that
Tho advice on how I give the gift to her? Thru a classmate or myself?
It depends what you’re willing to put yourself through sweetie. She doesn’t sound like she wants to see you, but i don’t know her enough to assume what she would do/how she’d react. There is nothing wrong with asking someone else to give it to her if you don’t think you can do it, but i’d maybe leave her a note so she knows it’s from you and you thought about her
Situations like that are harsh and i don’t really have friends so i can’t give very good advices 🙁 <3 i hope it all get sorted out
Also i won’t tell you to not tear up/cry because that’s not healthy. Let it all out if you feel like you need to, sometimes we feel lighter afterward
Thanks a lot 🙁