For some context, my friend and I have been friends for about 10 years. We’ve talked about going to this festival together for years and finally decided to buy tickets. Around the time we bought them, she had just started a new relationship, and her boyfriend and some of his friends also wanted to go to the festival.
At the time, I was a bit anxious about it because I didn’t know any of his friends and didn’t want to feel like the odd one out. However, my friend convinced me and said it would be really fun because there would be a big group of us going and that no one would be left out.
As the months have gone on, more and more of her boyfriend’s friends have dropped out and it’s now left with just me, my friend and her boyfriend. My friend reassured me that it would still be fun but after the past couple months third wheeling them even for an hour at the pub i’m noticing how much of a nightmare it’s going to be.
On top of that, she recently told me I can’t travel with them anymore because there isn’t space in his car, so I’ll have to find my own way there. The festival is hours away, so that’s a pretty big inconvenience. I’ll also have to sleep by myself in my own tent (originally we were going to share a tent)
Another thing is her boyfriend doesn’t drink which means she won’t be either. He can be super judgmental about alcohol in general which i know will irritate me throughout the festival. This is my first big festival and I wanted to have the full experience but now it feels like the whole dynamic will be me tagging along with them the whole time.
At this point I’m honestly dreading the festival because I feel like I’ll just be third wheeling the whole time and feeling uncomfortable. I’ve tried bringing up my concerns with my friend, but she brushed them off and got annoyed with me, which feels really unfair.
Another thing that’s bothered me is that when I’ve explained how I feel, she’s said she wants me to come because her boyfriend sometimes goes off on his own at festivals and concerts, and she doesn’t want to be left alone. But that honestly makes me feel like I’m just being asked to come as a backup in case her boyfriend isn’t paying attention to her, which feels pretty selfish.
When i’ve tried sharing my concerns with her she has gotten angry at me and basically insinuated that it’s weird how I care that much about being alone any point at the festival. She knows this is my first proper festival with no experience navigating one.
So now I’m considering backing out of the festival entirely and would appreciate any advice on how to handle it. I don’t want it to strain our friendship in any way but I feel like my feelings aren’t being considered. Any advice would be great 🙂
NTA. I would either find another person to go with or not go at all. You are definitely going to feel like the third wheel with them, at least until the bf ditches your friend to go do whatever he does and then you’ll be playing entertainer for your friend
The instant you had to now go stay in your own tent turned it into something completely different. How would SHE feel if you were with a boyfriend and she was tenting on her own?
NTA. Dump the tickets.
NTA – back out.