If you want a background, you can go to my profile. I have been called an YT there.
So years past and still NC with my SIL (will call her Marie), my BIL’s (will call him Martin).
Anyways, since Marie does not want to have a relationship with us, I have been addressing my xmas card only to Martin. For years I have not heard anything.
Then this weekend, Martin is up visiting my in laws and the we the "kids" decided to go out. He has a minivan so we decided to ride with him to go to the bar.
My other SIL (will call her Susan), noticed a stacked of envelopes which my xmas and Susan’s xmas card are included.
Susan asked Martin why the envelopes are in his card and not up in his house.
Martin casually said… I meant to throw those.
Susan and I are shocked and at the same time hurt.
Then Martin also said, if we are going to be petty, please do not mail our xmas cards to his house, because he will not allow us disrespecting his wife at her own home.
I told Martin to dropped me off at home, my husband also was upset and so is Susan.
Martin told us that he barely go up since we live 3 hours away and we are AH for ruining it over stupid xmas cards.
So AITA?
YTA. There’s no reason to send Martin a Christmas card, or to be so offended that he’s not putting them up after *years* of not hearing anything. You sound like you’re trying to cause drama. Good for Martin backing his wife.
Yeah YTA. Even putting everything else aside, not everyone hangs up Christmas cards. Having a stack of them is pretty normal and hassling someone about it is assholish behavior. And then yeah, addressing a card to one person is pretty passive aggressive. You could just not send them a card.
Not to mention it’s November 18. No need for Christmas to puke all over my house yet. It’s quite early for Christmas cards.
Is this real? Yeah…YTA.
Why the fuck would Martin want your Christmas cards?
YTA. You are being petty and snubbing your SIL. Why would Martin want to display cards that announce and clearly display your disdain for his wife.
YTA, good on him for backing his wife.
You sound so petty and insufferable to be around.
YTA with the very limited information you have provided.
What background on your profile? I can’t find anything to explain why you are trying to erase your BiLs wife. Of course he doesn’t want you sending pointed messages of how much you hate his wife ** *to her home* **. You are being dishonest with yourself, your family and us if you pretend otherwise.
YTA – You knew what you were doing when you didn’t address your SIL as well, so why are you acting shocked that he got the message?
I don’t even have to read padt tge title to know YTA
YTA. Nobody in a healthy relationship will hang up a card in their home that takes a dig at their partner. You can carry on being petty but good for him for not participating in it.
Of course YTA. You sound super petty.
YTA, and your brother is right, you’re petty. If your sister did the same thing, she can join in that judgement. You could have just addressed it to The Smith Family or whatever their last name is and kept it neutral. The only time to exclude her is his birthday or Father’s Day.
My Nmother decided to be an ass and didn’t talk to me. She would send Christmas cards and a gift to only my husband. It was petty and mean. THAT was freaking hurtful. Not even on Christmas could she show a smidge of grace. You know what he did, he sent it back letting her know he donated the gift to a family shelter and called her out.
Perhaps what you felt wasn’t hurt but shame. And you deserve it. I can’t believe he even left his wife to hang out with you guys. Good on him for calling you both out. What a way to miss the spirit of Christmas. smh
YTA. Of course Martin is going to throw cards in the trash that are addressed only to him and not his wife.
I’d love to see the AITA post that Martin or Marie would write about you guys. “AITA for throwing out Christmas cards that ignore my wife’s existence?”
I’m not sure what “context” you think your profile provides, but the one thing I saw in your other post is that Marie didn’t like the jokes your family made. The example that you cite is your MIL saying, “why my Martin did not marry his best friend instead of Marie?” I don’t care if it’s a “joke”, that’s a terrible thing to say in front of Martin’s wife. I’m guessing this is just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t blame Marie for going no contact.
YTA. Just don’t send cards if you are going to be that petty. You put your BIL in a very bad position but good for him for having his wife’s back.