So my (31f) daughter Jade (12f) is turning 13 soon and the only thing she’s asked for was a vacation to California with a friend or 2. She’s also not going to be in town on her actual birthday so I thought this trip would be a good way to make up for that and a good birthday present. I asked her who she wanted to invite to come with us and she picked her best friend and my youngest sister Mia. Mia is only 3 weeks younger than my daughter and they’ve grown up more like friends rather than aunt and niece. Unfortunately Mia can’t come but my dad offered to take the girls to do something fun the next time we’re all together. He also offered to pay for the hotel as his present for Jade’s birthday. My mom also offered to pay for a rental car for us as her present for Jade.
Last night I was on the phone with my other sister Taylor (28f) and I brought up Jades birthday trip. I was telling her everything we had planned to do and she was really excited for us. I then told her how bummed Jade was that Mia couldn’t come with us and Taylor got really quiet and said she had to go and hung up. I was kinda confused but didn’t really think much of it until she called me this morning and went off on me about not including her on the trip. I told her that it wasn’t my choice in who to invite its Jades trip. I told her that this isn’t just like a fun family vacation that everyone is invited to and that I’m sorry her feelings are hurt. I said we can plan a trip all together this summer. She just ended the calling saying whatever.
Here’s the thing about Taylor while I love her to death she’s not an easy person to travel with. She can’t fly alone or book anything herself because she’ll have an anxiety attack. She also makes plans in her head and if things don’t go exactly as she has them in her head she’ll have a breakdown. Jade has specific things she wants to do on her trip that are fully scheduled and paid for and these things Taylor wouldn’t enjoy doing. Jade and Mia also have a totally different kind of relationship than Jade and Taylor have. So AITA for only inviting Mia? Should I also have invited Taylor?
NTA. Mia and Jade are children and Taylor is an adult. Her upset makes no logical sense, so there is no way to deal with it logically. Let it pass, and she will move on to her next big thing. It sounds like she needs therapy right away.
INFO: So your 28yo sister is mad she isn’t invited to play with your 12yo daughter and sister?
Yea she does this a lot
NTA.
Take the relationships out of it.
This was not a family vacation.
This was an opportunity for your child to spend time with her same aged peers. It just so happens one of her closest people happens to be your sibling.
This is not an ‘adult trip’.
A 28 year old should not be disappointed that she isn’t invited on a trip for 12 year olds. You are also taking someone else’s children so it’s not like there would be a chance for you and the 28 year old to do adult things.
She needs to be told, it’s unfortunate the way the age gap worked out but it is what it is.
NAH – you didn’t invite only of your sisters, your daughter chose to invite her two friends, one of which happens to be her younger aunt. However, from Taylor’s perspective, all of her siblings are going on a trip without her, so her feeling left out isn’t invalid.
NTA. Mia is a child, she’s your daughter’s peer, it’s a completely different situation.
NTA. I thought your sister would be 12 or something. She’s 28. This is a trip for your niece
NTA, this is what Jade wanted to do with her friends. Taylor isn’t Jades age therefore that’s the reason she wasn’t invited. Taylor is making it about her. It has nothing to do with why one of your sisters was invited and not another sister.
NTA this has nothing to do with them being your sisters. This has everything to do with your daughter wanting to hang out with someone her age. Your older sister needs to realize this is not about her.
Honestly it sounds like Taylor still isn’t used to the fact that she’s not the baby anymore and this has more to do with things that the youngest sister gets to do that she doesn’t.
NTA. Jade wanted to hang out with someone her age so Taylor wasn’t included. Taylor’s anxiety and inability to plan her own trips has nothing to do with the birthday trip. Bringing your older sister would have ruined the vibe you were going for. It’s unfortunate that Taylor was upset, but that’s totally her problem. Don’t let Taylor’s problems and complaints become your problems. I hope you found another kid Jade’s age to travel with so she can have a fantastic bday trip.
It’s your daughters birthday trip, not a family trip. Also your sister visible chance of having anxiety attacks and breakdowns if things don’t go her way will definitely ruin your daughters birthday trip with her friends in some way. NTA
NTA
Taylor needs to grow up and realize everyone else’s world doesn’t revolve around her. Her grown ass really mad about not being invited to trip for teenage girls.
It really doesn’t matter that Taylor is a PITA on trips. This particular trip is not for her. The end.
NTA Taylor is 28 why would she think she’d be invited on a 12 year old’s trip with their 12 year old friends? She needs to deal with her own feelings. You and your daughter have done nothing wrong.
NTA she has some maturing to do. You’re already going to be looking after 3 children. You don’t need to look after a fourth.