Back story is my baby daddy had cheated on me about a year ago and ever since then he has been in and out of me and our daughters life. I finally decided to be done with him forreal in September of last year. When he left our house, he started living with his new girlfriend. Since then I have asked him constantly for help in watching our daughter and sending me support for her and he hasn’t send me anything since november. What bothered me most is that he keeps telling me he doesn’t have money but he is paying 1600 a month for a car he’s using that his friend technically owns but he says he can’t get out of paying for it and a 500$ bike payment. So I decided to file for child support. Our daughter is 3 years old and he barely talks to her, barely calls her and even when he’s not working out of town he barely comes by to see her.
when he got served the papers he calls me immediately telling me he’s going to harm himself and that he cannot afford to give me anything because he doesn’t make enough money. he says i fucked everything up and he gives up. I feel like he is guilt tripping me for filing but i repeatedly said that i filed because he has a responsibility for taking care of our daughter too. why does this all have to fall on me? I still feel for him in some way and now i feel like im the bad person for putting him on child support.
NTA. He’s manipulating you. If he couldn’t rubber on, he could at least act like he wants to be a good father and do the right thing by his kid. You need to get over him.
NTA I’m going to be completely honest I didn’t even bother reading this post beyond the first few lines, if he doesn’t have any custody then he needs to be on CS.
This isn’t about either of you, it’s about ensuring your kid has access to financial support from both parents, which is her right as a minor (except ofc if one of the parents is deceased which is not the case here).
NTA
This is the literal reason child support exists.
NTA – Not your problem he doesnt work hard enough to have money, he didnt wrap his willy, he was silly… now he can pay for it one way or another, being broke and useless doesnt give him a free pass not to pay his responsibilities
Dunno how it works in your state, but the judge will likely make him pay based on what he earns and can afford. So don’t feel bad. If he made bad decisions with vehicles, it’s not your problem, and even less your child.
The child comes first.
NTA at all. She’s his kid too and he is also responsible for her care. I would talk to the court about his comments and only speak to him via text from now on so everything is in writing-they might have an app they recommend you use so they can also have a copy.
NTA. He is an adult and has a moral and legal obligation to his child. The court will look at his income and determine what is a reasonable amount for him to pay. IF he doesn’t have enough to pay his bills, he needs to work some more.
NTA
You at no point will ever be responsible for another persons choices or actions. If he harms himself, that is sad, and has nothing to do with you.
Sounds like your daughter is better off without him in her life. It sucks you don’t have help, but you should at least have CS. Don’t feel guilty, keep on, and keep communication to texts about the child or not at all. It’s ok to not respond. Maybe you should block him and tell him to communicate by email only. Don’t let him manipulate you, the child is his responsibility too.
Do t talk to him about anything other than your child and do it thru a parenting app.
Of course you’re NTA for filing for child support. His manipulation tactics are just to get you to back off, don’t you dare do it. I think what a lot of, like way too many, mother’s don’t think about in these situations is that it’s not about you, it’s about your child. You’re not doing anything but making him live up to his responsibility. You’re not asking him to support you, you’re asking him to support his child. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing what’s best for her, even if he finds it difficult.
NTA! Buddy better pay up.
He’s just trying to manipulate you. No regular person has a $1500 car payment. He doesn’t need a bike. Your child has needs that are his responsibility. Never feel guilty for advocating for your child.
NTA. Call his bluff. Get the child support in writing he should have been paying it since she was born.