i think i’m more of a grinch than an asshole but id like to see what other people think.
i (18f) have a rather early and rather strict bedtime due to medication im on and unfortunately staying up later (even for one night) is not ideal for my health.
now for the story: my sister and her friends had planned a Christmas party that was supposed to be at someone else’s house, for reasons unknown to me the location was changed last minute to our house. cool whatever i’m going out for a few hours anyway so they can do what they like.
when i got home at about 8pm they were all hanging out on the sofa, talking and laughing. brilliant love that for them. by 9pm i was in bed ready to sleep, the issue? now they all wanted to do some very loud karaoke right below my bedroom.
i shut my door and turned my fan on but unfortunately they were impressively loud and the sound still carried crystal clear into my room. so when my mother went downstairs to get a drink i asked her if she could talk to the party about turning the music down a bit as i was trying to sleep.
to no one’s surprise they turned it back up after.
so after about twenty minutes of trying to sleep i asked again, this time they kept the volume down and all was good.
now this morning i had a chat with my mother about my sister’s parties and how at that volume they are disturbing my sleep. i suggested some ideas: parties during the day? absolutely fine, volume appropriate gatherings in the evening? that’s cool too, but loud parties in the evening? not at this house.
my mother agreed and will speak to my sister later but now i’m wondering if that was unfair of me to ask. it’s her first year of college and she’s excited to have parties with her new friends and i don’t want to ruin her fun but i also don’t want to mess with my sleep on these medications.
so i know i’m a grinch but AITA?
(edit: on reflection yes i definitely overreacted and was thinking selfishly, i will have a conversation with my sister and find a compromise that is actually fair for everyone)
Let me introduce you to white noise machines and medical-grade ear plugs. Also to the notion that if your sister is having a party in the room directly below yours that you take said white noise machine and ear plugs and trade bedrooms with your sister or another member of the household who sleeps in a different part of the house.
I understand your need for sleep, but having a party at 9 pm is not unreasonable. And I’m pretty sure that if the family sat down together and discussed this, everyone’s needs could be met.
No judgment, just urging you to talk this out and think about ways this problem can be solved in a way that gives everyone what they need or want.
YTA. 9pm is considered early by many.. Was this the weekend? I think you’re overreacting if so. Most places have quiet hours start at 11 on weekends.
YTA. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
fair enough, any ideas for a better compromise then so i can make the situation fairer?
Earplugs
Somewhat YTA. 9pm is pretty early by any standards, and incredibly early by college standards. You both stay there, so it’s a little unfair if she can never get to have any fun in her own house as well. Although I can understand needing to sleep. Maybe compromise by you investing in a good pair of earplugs and her agreeing not to make night events *too* frequent?
yeah that seems reasonable, we’ll have a proper talk about it later and find a solution that works for everyone
What medical condition requires sleeping at very specific times? (Wondering about the premise here)
Its a medication. Not the condition, however many chronic conditions do benefit from a consistent sleep schedule. Lots of medications have to be taken at a certain time and can be you incredibly drowsy- I know personally one of the meds I’m on does this but if i don’t fall asleep within 20 minutes it then causes issues with my sleep all night. It is really strange yes but its not uncommon to have side effects that cause issues with sleep
its more so the medication rather than the condition itself. i take slow release medicine which helps during the day but when it gets to 7-8pm i completely run out of steam and go straight to bed so i can get a good amount of sleep before CPP wakes me up at an inappropriate hour of the morning (no idea why it does that but we’re working on it). my health is far from ideal and not getting enough sleep has been a huge problem from me up until recently.
i hope that makes sense
INFO: Your sister is 16 and it’s her first year of college? I’m clearly missing something here.
i’m in the UK, college here is from ages 16-18