Title: AITA for recording a short video at a bar when a woman got on the bar to do a shot?
I’m at an annual sales meeting for work, and after dinner on the first night, a group of coworkers decided to walk to a nearby bar. For context, my wife and I both grew up very religious (Mormon) and only deconstructed from that in the last few years, so going out to bars is still relatively new for us and something we feel like we “missed out on” earlier in life.
The bar ended up being Coyote Ugly. When we walked in, I sent my wife a selfie and she replied positively, saying she was jealous and to have fun. The vibe inside was energetic but not super crowded (it was a Monday).
At one point, a group of women got on top of the bar and started dancing. I took a short video and sent it to my wife, thinking she’d find it fun or something she might enjoy doing with her friends someday. She replied saying it looked like fun.
A little later, another woman got on the bar by herself and was preparing to take a shot. Several people (not just me) had their phones out recording. The staff encouraged her to crawl across the bar, but she looked uncomfortable and declined. She ended up just taking the shot and getting down.
About five minutes later, she approached me visibly upset and asked, “Did you get what you wanted from the video?” I realized she was upset that I had recorded her. I apologized immediately and deleted the video in front of her. I didn’t argue or escalate the situation.
Afterward, some of my coworkers said things like, “If she didn’t want to be recorded, she shouldn’t have gotten on the bar,” and called her an idiot. I didn’t say that and didn’t agree with insulting her, but I also didn’t feel like I had malicious intent. She did choose to get on the bar in a very public setting where recording was clearly happening.
So, AITA for recording a short video of a woman on top of the bar in that situation?
Soft yta to you, hard yta to those other guys. Living in the moment seems like a such a crime now adays, i dont understand why people arent able to comprehend someone feeling uncomfortable that someone wants to keep a video of her while shes just having fun. I dont think you were being malicious but just because shes up there doesnt mean shes “asking to be recorded” like the others said. This doesnt actually mean youre an ah ofc whats done is done and all you can do is understand her pov and move on
This is why clubs and stuff was more fun back in the day. You could dance however you want and be free without worrying about going viral because someone recorded you after your 3rd shot. 😩