I’m an electrician and a union member.
My ex and I share custody of our three kids. Things are ok now, but the divorce last year was rough. She got remarried in August to a guy after dating for six months let’s call him “Brad"
Here where the issue kinda starts; a few weeks ago Brad was at my daughter’s volleyball game saying stuff about how “Real tradesmen don’t need to be in a union.” He said this right in front of me, and I was wearing a shirt with my union logo on it, he works in the trades also but just does small non union IT/ data network jobs. I stayed calm and didn’t bite. He is self employed and I know barely makes a profit. My license also allows me to do all of his kind of work at my pay rate.
This morning, my ex called me out of the blue. She said a panel at one of Brad’s jobs, needed some work and asked if I could “just swing by” to check it out. She said, “You’d only need your tools for a few minutes just a quick favor, it’s not a big deal, and you would be technically working for Brad."
So when my ex asked for a quick favor, I told her, "I charge everyone the same rate, and per union rules I cant just do a side job its gotta be done under my shop."
She said, “You’re really gonna force this issue with my husband?”
I told her, “He can just have his own subcontractors or step up and by paying me like everyone else does.”
Now she’s saying I’m being petty and creating tension. Claiming that im just making a stink cause he lives with the kids."
I told her that professionalism isn’t petty and that I don’t give free labor to people who disrespect my trade.
So AITA for refusing to do free work for my ex’s husband, even though it might make things awkward for my co-parenting relationship?
Nope NTA, that’s a perfectly reasonable boundary.
Especially right after he intentionally, publicly insulted you. Not much of a think-a-header is he?
NTA. I don’t care about the union rules, you don’t owe them anything in general.
He wishes he was in a union.
NTA. Don’t jeopardize that for this guy. I wouldn’t put it past him to ‘let it slip’ and try to get you in trouble, if that’s a thing.
NTA did brad or your ex plan ahead to when this little job messes you up and leaves you injured or disabled and since it’s off the books of the union, you’re fucked?
NTA-regardless of you being in a union or his thoughts and opinions on unions, if he wants work done he better be willing to pay someone to do it. That is just how the world works. You don’t owe anyone free labour just because they married someone.
I see why your marriage didn’t work. Was she always this insufferable?
This is more of a Karma based shituation, and it’s hilarious!
My next Union shirt printed would say “So good your wife calls me for “favors…””
You’re NTA brother, enjoy that stupidity!
Yeah now I gotta make this shirt.
I have a shirt that says
“I’m a mechanic, that means I’m the guy your wife calls when you can’t bust a nut.”
It triggers so many dudes
NTA but your ex-wife needs her head examined.
If real tradesmen don’t need a union then why is he specifically reaching out to a union tradesman for help? Surely one of his many non union pros can handle this better and cheaper than you can /s. NTA
NTA. If he were a real man, he would have called you himself, instead having his wife beg for a favor.
That would be my response. Phrase it exactly like he did but with this concept in a message directly to him.
NTA
Sounds like Brad’s in over his head. He took a job he doesn’t have the skills and experience to do.
It’s ridiculous that your ex thinks you should bail him out. Why would you take work away from a subcontractor who Brad hasn’t insulted yet?