I’m in a sports team and a few weeks ago we had a new guy join. I’ve maybe met him 3 times. In that time, he’s asked me on 4 separate occasions to drive him somewhere, usually for a non medical appointment or the last one was to give him a lift home from the pub. This is a bloke who has no money, no home and no job. I’m pretty certain that he doesn’t even buy his own drinks at the pub. Each time, I’ve said no. I enjoy helping people, but I feel like when you’re one of the only members of a group to own a car, certain people expect you to act like their personal chauffeur. This isn’t the first time someone from the team has asked me to drive them somewhere, but never has anyone asked me 4 times in such quick succession. I’m happy to drive people to games, because I’m going there anyway and most of them live within a 2 minute drive of me. That’s the extent of how far I’m willing to go with that lot. The sports team are not my friends, they’re just people I happen to know. Although there are a couple of people in the team that I do get along with quite well. Usually, if one of my friends asks me to drop them to the airport or take them to the shops, they will always offer me something in return. They don’t need to do this, because they are my friends, but sure, if you want to buy me a McDonalds, I’m not going to say no. It’s also been a while since anyone from my friend group has asked me to drive them anywhere. But when someone who isn’t your friend, asks you to go out of your way to help them, the least I would expect is that he covers the cost of my fuel. He’s not even offering that. It’s also the language he uses. I think it’s a little manipulative. The first time he asked me he said "Can you take me to this appointment, it’s for x,y,x (money related) so it’s important" – so it’s important. Eugh.
Part of thinks think I might be an AH because driving someone a maximum of 10 miles really isn’t going out of my way or anything, I think the thing that annoys me is the expectation.
\*edited for spelling\*
NTA, dude can call an uber if he can manage to get drunk at the pub with no job
NTA. There is helping and there is being used. I meant, even if it was a friend who used and abused your kindness, you’d be in your right to refuse too. You are no one’s chauffeur.
Not saying that dude is an acquaintance. You own him nothing.
NTA…once you start saying yes, the pattern of asking will never cease. Boundaries are important and your instincts are correct.
NTA. It’s not unreasonable or peole to ask you for a lift if you are going to be driving anywya, although they should offer something in return, whether that’s a contribution to you petrol costs or buying you snacks or whatever.
A freidn asking if you can drive them somewhere like the airport , or askingthou to drop them off where it mean taking a detour, also fine for them to ask but equally fine for you to say no.
Someone you barely know asking it pretty cheeky and you are totally fine to say no
NTA. I’d do the same thing if I barely knew the person.
NTA.
On the other hand, not charitable either. NTA here too if you’re very young.