So I was sitting with my cousin (R) and my aunt and my mom and my grandma and another cousin (M) My aunt was talking about some guy on social media who’s always negative about people But she mentioned one thing he said that she kinda agreed with
She asked us:
“Can a mom make her kids hate their dad after a divorce?”
Everyone said “yes” and stayed quiet
I also said “yes” but I said it depends
I told them something like:
“Yeah but it depends on the situation Like if my dad before the divorce was really awful to my mom and hurt her emotionally and basically made her life miserable then of course I’d hate him At the end of the day a mom is such a strong part of your life and I don’t want my mom hurt or sad
But if that same dad treated me totally differently like he was actually super good to me as his daughter then my feelings wouldn’t be simple I’d still hate him for everything he did to my mom but I’d also have this weird love because he treats me well So it becomes this mix of love and hate at the same time”
R said she could never love her dad if he hurt her mom even if he treated her nicely And she kept trying to convince me to think the same way
I told her:
“Everyone has their own life experiences and people see things differently We’re not sheep that all think the same I’m just talking from what I’ve lived through”
She got annoyed and said she only wanted a yes or no answer not explanations
I told her I can’t just say yes or no without saying why Some topics aren’t that simple
Then she said I was wrong and that if someone in life (even at work) asks a yes/no question I should answer yes or no and not go into details
I told her it depends on where you are who you’re talking to and what the situation is. A family conversation isn’t the same as a work conversation
So now I’m wondering…
Am I the asshole for not giving her the simple yes/no answer she wanted? 🧐