I [19F] am a sophomore in college. Until last semester my parents were paying for about 3/4 of my tuition and my housing. However they insisted I used the Life360 app showing my location to them at all times. It wasnt optimal but I figured its up to them since theyre paying for me.
Over the holidays however my dad and I had a huge argument because I changed my major from Biology to Nursing. He told me I was throwing away a bigger opportunity but I feel like i can help more people this way.
Since then Ive had to start working two jobs and take out multiple student loans. I pay for everything now, my parents give me $0.
Anyways, last weekend I went on a roadtrip to another state and my mom started texting me non stop, demanding to know why i was in another state. I had forgotten about the tracking app at this point. I realised thats how they knew and I just deleted the app.
Then came the calls from both my parents, both of them saying how dangerous it is for me to not be tracked by them all the time. I told them Im paying for my own life now, i value my privacy and I dont feel comfortable with the app.
This has really infuriated my dad and upset my mom because she thinks Im trying to cut them off completely or something.
They said if I dont turn it back on, that Im not welcome at Thanksgiving this year.
AITA?
>This has really infuriated and dad and upset my mom because she thinks Im trying to cut them off completely or something.
>They said if dont turn it back on, that Im not welcome at Thanksgiving this year.
You aren’t the one cutting them off. NTA
I see this as a win
Eh not a win necessarily. Never nice to see a family going into scorched earth territory.
Ideally the parents get their heads out of the toilet and realize they are sabotaging their relationship with OP
Doubtful, sadly. This isn’t about this one incident it’s about overall control. And the more OP pushes back the more they’re going to act out and try to regain control.
“You need to learn to respect boundaries” is the phrase I kept repeating to my parents.
Similar to OP, my mom had a weird hang up about my refusal to share my location with her. Years later she will still make comments about how useful it is to share locations. But ultimately, enforcing this boundary has been very healthy.
>They said if I dont turn it back on, that Im not welcome at Thanksgiving this year.
Personally I’d play chicken. “Take it back or I really won’t attend Thanksgiving even if you change your mind later.”
“OK I’ll make other plans”
But OP should be. They tried to sabotage OP’s education, because OP is an individual who isn’t just an extension of them.
If OP wasn’t able to get the jobs lined up, OP could really be struggling. Potentially nowhere to live, nowhere to work, no degree, and no plan of what to do. She’s a struggling 19F – easy for someone to take advantage of her also.
They apparently didn’t care. If I’m OP, I start to think whether I SHOULD cut them off.
NTA – Your change of major makes sense and your parents are very shortsighted. There are way more job opportunities for a nurse in and out of a hospital setting than there are for biology majors. Thanksgiving is almost a year away, I’m sure a friend will invite you to celebrate with their family.
1st they cut off their 19 year old child, and now they are complaining that their child has cut off her relationship with parents. What a load of crap.
NTA. They think they own you
Not even relationship. She cut off their tracking ability.
NTA. You are an adult, not a sixth grader with an attitude problem or a criminal with an ankle bracelet. Your parents need to calm tf down.
Good luck at school! We need more good nurses. ☺️
EDIT: It was wrong of them to want track you even when they *were* paying for everything. My oldest just got a phone (they’re 12), and the only time I check the phone’s location is when they can’t find it. There has to be some trust and respect between parents and children, especially in the absence of some special cause for concern like addiction or mental illness.
They don’t care about safety, they care about control. Bummer about Thanksgiving, but you’ll be alright. NTA
“We’re afraid you’re trying to cut us off! But you’re not welcome at holidays if you don’t do exactly as we demand”
Good lord,’the selfsabotage is strong in these ones.
(NTA obviously and if you don’t want to be under their thumb forever you should probably call their maybe-bluff)
Your dad is mad at you for switching to an employable major from one that was likely unemployable? That is wild.
You’re 19. This is your call.
NTA