I’m 20F, and my friend (20F) and I are in college together. We’re usually close and help each other out.
A few weeks ago, while hanging out with classmates, she started joking about how “dramatic” I am and how she basically “carries me” academically. People laughed, and she kept going. I laughed it off, but it honestly hurt. When I told her later, she said I was being too sensitive and that it was “just a joke.”
Last week, she asked me for notes and help studying because she missed classes. Normally I would help, but this time I said no and suggested she ask someone else.
Now she’s upset and calling me petty. Some friends think I should’ve helped her anyway.
AITA?
NTA. Sounds like she was projecting and being petty is occassionally satisfying. Aside from that, that joke doesn’t sound like good friendship material.
Actions have consequences.
NTA
This is whats called “projecting”.
She relys on you for school help while making herself sound superior to hide that fact.
NTA
NTA. This is not a friend. She’s a user. You don’t owe her your notes.
NTA – use her own logic back at her. If she ‘carries’ you, why would she want the notes of someone apparently less academic than her? Lmao. She can’t have it both ways.
A huge lesson for younger people, is to eliminate unhealthy relationships from your life, as early as possible. Time and happiness is precious.
NTA.
She hurt you, so you are hurting her. If you’re OK with this, you’re no longer friends, move on.
If you wanted to remain friends, you needed to have another discussion. You still can talk things over. You are intuitively right, if she is a good person and good friend, she should understand that you are hurt and apologize. You should then apologize about making your friendship conditional because there is a valid point about taking a joke too seriously. It depends if she was truly being a mean B or not. We weren’t there, we can’t judge the nature of the joke in context.
Good luck.
NTA you don’t make fun of a friend to a group of people . She was mean you told her it hurt your feelings and she chose to be mean again and dismiss your feelings.
NTA. She’s not a good person, and she’s definitely not a friend material. Her words hurt you, and after you’ve told her that, a real friend would actually listen, apologise, and make sure nothing like that ever happens again. She said that you were being too sensitive – she’s the biggest asshole
NO, you are not. Btw want new friends i am free
You put up a boundary. Well done.
Not sharing notes is a little bit dramatic. Especially if you intend to keep her as a friend. But she doesnt sound like friend material. Just a joke AINT cutting it.
Nope.
This is a FAFO moment. If she wants to bite the hand that feeds her, she only got the one chance.
Clearly she doesn’t need YOUR notes because she’s so academically superior. Those that think you’re being petty ? They are called her flying monkeys and they are NOT your friends. They are probably the ones she jokes to you about you. Let them lend her notes.
Find some new friends. Because actual friends don’t do this to each other.
I do enjoy it when karma comes back to bite…
Absolutely NTA
Funny how she supposedly carries you academically then asks for your help with missed classes. Your friend mistook *digs* for a jokes. She hurt your feelings so you were in no mood to help her out, especially since she doubled down and didn’t apologize. Now she’s calling you petty. This must be the first time you said no to this queen bee. Start looking for better friends.