For non Brits Cuckooing is when criminals take over someone’s home and refuse to leave. I live in a higher-crime city with my sister, who has mobility issues. we’re both in our early thirties and I also have chronic illnesses.
Two years ago, three men in their late twenties or thirties, tracksuits, hoods over caps, typical chav roadman look approached me outside a shop five minutes from my house. Also for non Brits, Chav is this Gangster like subculture and are known to be incredibly aggressive. They seemed concerned and asked if I was homeless because they’d seen me eating there before. I said no. They asked if I was from around here and what my house number was. I said I lived just down the road and vaguely gestured in the direction of my house which is several bends away. Instead of anything threatening, they ended up chatting with me for a while and actually cheered me up. They said they hang around there daily, it was about three in the afternoon.
Two weeks ago, about a minute from my front door, I saw one of those men riding past on a bike. He slowed and squinted at my face for a few seconds, then kept going. My house was only a couple bends away. Now I’m worried he’s recognised me and might try to figure out exactly where I live.
Today my sister asked me to go to the shop since it’s nice out. I said I’m still anxious about seeing that guy and don’t want to run into them again. She said she gets anxious too because walking hurts and she’s running out of food she likes, and told me to just ignore them Now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole.
Info:
Either we are missing some information, or you are over reacting
Chatting to you outside a shop isn’t cuckooing, although it was a bit dodgy for them to ask for your address
So you chatted with some people outside a shop and because they asked you where you lived you call that an attempted cuckoo?
YTA. This seems like a massive overreaction. How long are you going to refuse to leave your house over this?
It’s concerning that they asked for your house number, but that was years ago and you seem to have handled it. Do you really think these guys have been plotting for 2 years to steal your house?
YTA I guess but mostly you need a therapist. You haven’t left the house for several weeks because you had a conversation?? Nothing happened. This is not healthy.
My mom had a coworker who had similar problems. She was at a gas station and a man approached her and tried to talk to her. For some reason this really freaked her out, and she called the police and told them he tried to abduct her. The police came out and found the guy. He had been at a bar, got really drunk, went outside to smoke, and then got lost. He was asking her for directions back to the bar. Police reported back to her that he was not trying to abduct her, and she was free to leave.
She went home and wrote an extremely long facebook post about how she had just avoided an attempted abduction and was still panicking. Her post even included what police told her. In her post she asked people to reach out to her parents (who were in church and not reachable at that moment) to let them know she was okay.
Some people definitely need therapy to evaluate their fears and responses.
obvs your YTA like?? your wayy to paranoid, and your sisters needs the help
YTA, are you never leaving the house now? It’s not like those men are moving. He probably just stared at you because he was trying to remember where he recognized you from since it’s been TWO years.
gentle YTA. i totally understand anxiety and i’m not dismissing that but i gotta be real with you here. those guys never actually cuckooed your house. they chatted with you, cheered you up, and left. and two weeks ago a guy rode past you on a bike and looked at you. that’s it.
your sister is disabled and running out of food she can eat. she physically struggles to go herself. that’s a real immediate need vs something that might happen based on a guy glancing at you on a bike two weeks ago.
if the anxiety is this intense over an interaction that was honestly pretty harmless then that might be worth talking to someone about because it shouldn’t be keeping you housebound. i say that with kindness not judgment. but right now your sister needs to eat and you’re the one who can make that happen
What are we missing here? Where in this post do you say they were trying to squat at your house? This is all around very weird….YTA
YTA. So you had a pleasant conversation two years ago with people who you initially judged unfairly. Two years later, you saw one of them again and they looked at you.
You need to talk to someone about this because it is a unhealthy overreaction.
YTA – it doesn’t sound like they were cuckooing at all. You ran into them at a shop, you gestured vaguely to were you live. They never actually showed up at your house. Clearly, they frequent the same neighborhood so they’re going to be around.
YTA. Unless I’m missing something, you won’t leave your house because you saw a guy on a bike outside two weeks ago. Are you just going to hole up in there forever and never leave?
Where wasthe attempt to take over your house? If you’re that concerned about a conversation report it to the police.
I don’t see the part where they tried to cuckoo you. Yeah, maybe they were fishing for your house number (more likely a quick burglary), but you responded correctly and they dropped it. The fact that one of them is still out there living his life isn’t reason to never leave your house.