A few months ago, I lent a friend some money because they said they were in a tough situation she promised she would pay me back within a few weeks but she never did i reminded her a couple of times, and she kept saying they would send it soon, but it never happened recently, the same friend asked me to lend them money again I told her no because she still hadn’t paid back the first amount she got upset (rude too)and said I was being selfish and that friends should help each other out now some mutual friends are saying I should have helped them anyway since they were strugglingAITA for refusing to lend them money again?
NTA: People that lie and steal from you are not friends
You set a hard boundary and it made your friend uncomfortable so she got defensive. You’re NTA and you might want to seriously consider if this person is ACTUALLY a friend, or are they using you until you no longer serve their purpose?
NTA.
She’s not your friend. She’s getting her story out to the mutual friends, painting you as the baddie.
You aren’t her ATM, and you can tell her that directly. You can tell your mutual friends that you’ve done your bit, it’s their turn to step up.
Just be prepared, they may not be your friends either.
Why are you even asking this question?
NTA. Sounds like your mutual friends just offered their money to your struggling friend.
NTA those friends should be lending her money if they think she really needs it.
As a rule, don’t loan people money. Give them gifts and never speak of it again. People will never ever pay you back and you will wind up losing the friend decide who really needs a helping hand but be wary of people that use you as a resource.
As a good test of your friendship, ask your friend for a few bucks a month from now. I guarantee you with the shoe on the other foot things will not be so helpful.
Every time I see the words “should help each other out” I know this is AI.
But you did help her, the first loan. Loans get repaid. She did not do that. She is the one who fell short on the friends status. Friends repay the loan as soon as they are able, even if it has to be incremental. Are her “rough times” so bad that she was never able to offer any of it back? If times are that tough for her, then maybe you are, but if, at any time, she could have repaid all or any portion of the loan and didn’t, then you are definitely NTA.
Wow, this is like an especially generic version of 10,000 previous AITA posts. So as always: NTA, and sounds like the friends who are so concerned with the situation can go ahead and lend this person their money.
NTA. I hate hate hate entitled people. Even if you didn’t want to give her the money just because what would be the issue?? It’s not her money.
NTA. That’s not your friend. Go no contact and wash your hands of them.
NTA.
Your learnt a couple of lessons, at a cost, do not lend money you expect to get back, do not let people know how much money you have (or winnings, windfalls, inheritance, etc). Next time your asked you are better if saying “I don’t have any money I can spare” instead of telling them that you won’t loan it because they haven’t paid you back.
nta. ask her for some money next time? ps. she is not your friend