I’m a 24F homeowner in a quiet suburban neighborhood, and I’ve put a lot of time and effort into my backyard garden over the past couple years. It’s nothing fancy just some veggies, flowers, and a small herb patch that I use for cooking. It helps me relax after long days at my job as a graphic designer, and honestly, it’s become my little sanctuary. my neighbors next door (mid-40s couple with two kids, around 8 and 10) are generally nice, but their kids are super energetic and often play outside unsupervised. A few months ago, I noticed them kicking a ball around and it kept landing in my yard, trampling some plants. I didn’t make a big deal at first, just politely asked the parents if they could remind the kids to stay on their side. they apologized and said they’d handle it. but it kept happening. Last week, i came home to find several tomato plants uprooted and my basil completely flattened like they’d been running through it playing tag or something. i was upset because I’d been nurturing those for months, and now half my crop is ruined. i went over and talked to the parents again, explaining what happened and saying that while i love seeing kids play outside, i can’t have them in my yard anymore because of the damage. i suggested they could use the community park down the street instead, which has tons of space. the mom got defensive and said I was overreacting, that "kids will be kids" and it’s not a big deal. She accused me of being unfriendly and said the neighborhood is supposed to be a community where everyone shares. Her husband chimed in that I should just put up a fence if it’s such a problem (which I can’t afford right now). Now they’re giving me the cold shoulder, and I’ve heard from another neighbor that they’re telling people I’m a grumpy loner who hates children. i feel bad because I don’t want to be that person who ruins kids’ fun, but I also don’t think it’s fair for my property to get destroyed without any consequences. AITA for setting this boundary?
NTA You asked nicely, now send them a bill to replace the ruined plants.
NTA they should take responsibility for their kids especially if they damaged your property. It’s one thing for them to run on your property line but it’s another to ruin your plants
I don’t have much advice unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much you can do unless you have an HOA or something similar. If the parents didn’t care then they won’t care later.
NTA getting defensive and then gossiping about you to the entire neighborhood, when it was their kids doing something wrong, is asinine
NTA sorry your neighbours are shitty parents. If people tell you they think you’re a grumpy loner, tell them what the kids did.
They are also trespassing and damaging your property.
And boundaries are for *you*, not to control others. Tell them to keep their kids off your property or you’ll take further action.
No real fence needed. Lay barbed wire down on the property line.
NTA at all. “Kids will be kids” is not a free pass to destroy someone else’s stuff, and “just put up a fence” is code for “we don’t want to parent.”
If they keep it up, start documenting with photos and texts so when they escalate the smear campaign you have receipts. Honestly I’d lean harder into the “grumpy loner” vibe before I let people’s kids turn my garden into a soccer field.
Kindly, are you generally a pushover or doormat, because wondering if youre an asshole for not wanting neighbouring children destroying your garden suggests you are.
And my response when people say ‘kids will be kids’ after they do something harmful or inappropriate is ‘yeah, kids will be kids, thats why it’s the parents job to teach them how to act appropriately, and not destroy other people’s property’.
Also super maddening to be told something you care about is ‘no big deal’, like yeah, b, I know it’s not a big deal to you, but it is to me.
8 and 10 is definitely old enough to know better, beyond old enough. Hold your ground, and if you do tend to be a pushover, practice some responses so if/ when the parents push back on your reasonable boundary you dont freeze up. Id be tempted to tell the kids why theyre not allowed on your property any more, too. Tbh they might be more reasonable and understanding about it than the parents.
From a (hopefully) improved doormat herself lol, it gets easier standing up for yourself with practice! Good luck to you and your garden
NTA. If they get injured in your yard, you are liable. Tell them to watch their kids or you’ll have to call the cops for trespassing.
NTA. Can you afford some wooden stakes and twine? Just anything that clearly defines the boundary of your garden. You should not have to do this, but it seems fairly apparent the parents aren’t going to stop it.
A roll of wire fencing and steel stakes isn’t that expensive and relatively easy to install.
NTA call the cops and report the damages either this time or next time cause we know they’re not gonna stop until they face consequences
NTA those kids should not be in your yard, if they tripped and got hurt, you know their parents would sue you, they sound like that type of person. Time for some chicken wire and steaks, until you can afford an actual fence. You shouldn’t have to do that, but it will be worth it to protect your investment in your garden. None of the neighbors probably want those kids in their yard either, so I wouldn’t worry about the parents saying anything.
NTA. Ask the parents how they plan to compensate you for the damage to your food garden that is now financially impacting your food bill indefinitely?
Tip: Chicken wire and wood stakes are more effective than meat steaks.
A nice hedge of miniature barberry bushes would be nice. After all, thorns will be thorns.