I (23F) went to my cousin’s engagement dinner last weekend, a small, semi formal family gathering. I’m naturally quiet at events like that, and I mostly stuck to helping out, chatting politely, and minding my business. Midway through the evening, my older sister Rachel (26F) pulled me aside and said my being too calm and composed was making her look chaotic. She asked me to talk more, laugh louder, and act more outgoing so she wouldn’t feel judged next to me, saying she and her fiancé were managing impressions before their own wedding. I told her I wasn’t going to fake a personality just to make her feel better, especially since I wasn’t doing anything wrong or drawing attention to myself.
Rachel got upset and sulked the rest of the night, which made the atmosphere weird. Since then, she’s been texting me saying I could’ve played along to support her and that I embarrassed her by refusing. From my perspective, I just behaved normally and didn’t think existing quietly at a family dinner required adjusting my entire demeanor for someone else’s insecurities. AITA for not changing how I acted to make Rachel feel more comfortable?
NTA. Asking someone else to act a certain way to make yourself feel better is the most pathetic thing I’ve heard in weeks.
Thank you, that was my thought, but she kept acting up
NTA. I must say this post had a twist I did not expect; that is, amp it up rather than calm it down. LOL.
NTA. That is absolutely the weirdest AITA situation I have read since hanging out here. How can somebody fake a personality? Your sister is not dialed into reality. If she’s self aware enough to know she’s chaotic, she can dial it down and act more like her sister.
Being “chaotic” is a choice.
Do we have different definitions of toning down?
I don’t understand, the caption stated you didn’t want to tone yourself down, when your sister was telling you to be more outgoing? I don’t think you need to change your demeanor for her. It is her that is insecure.
You’re NTA. Your sister is a psycho.