Important note: I’m Mexican, and living with my parents well into adulthood it’s very normal in my culture. Please refrain from judging me for that.
I (29M) am very responsible and clean up after myself all the time. When I cook, I clean all the dishes. I will do laundry, sweep, and other tasks. I won’t do their dishes though because they use way too much and don’t wash any of them.
When I was living with 5 other people, the sink only had a few dishes at the end of the day, and I had no problem washing all the dishes, but after I moved back in with my parents, even though it’s just the three of us, and I clean up after myself, the sink as well as half the counter would be full of dirty dishes beforeb the end of the day.
I think they have too many dishes in general, but they should at least be mindful of how many they use per meal! It’s like the use new dishes when they get seconds! It’s not even like they could justify it by saying they don’t like food mixing because we literally have sectional plates!
I have no problem helping around the house, but when it comes to dishes, I’m drawing the line. If they’re going to use a ridiculous amount of dishes to the point it takes several loads to clean one day’s worth, then they should wash their own dishes.
I get I should be grateful for them, but I’m showing gratituty by helping around the house in other areas. I do wash my own dishes, so it’s not like I’m making things worse.
Update: I’m the asshole for only doing some of the chores and not everything and paying the wrong expenses. I thought helping with the expenses that would’ve gone up with me moving in was the better option, but I should’ve specifically helped with the rent, which didn’t change. Just choose YTA. It’s wrong of me to not be their maid that pays them.
How much do you pay them for rent and where do you live(to get a cost of living idea)? That’s a huge missing detail.
As a person who absolutely hates doing dishes, ever, I’m going to say NTA. I can cook a 3 course meal with a pan, 2 bowls and a spatula. I get annoyed when my partner uses several dishes to make anything that’s above and beyond what’s necessary. You clearly sound like you’re cleaning up after yourself, *AND* doing a good amount of other cleaning as well.
This is me as well. I hate doing dishes so I use the minimum I can.
You’re wrong. I’m definitely the asshole for not being their personal maid.
Why did you ask if you’re so sure that you’re right?
NTA for the dishes. I live in a household of three people, and we run the dishwasher every 2-3 days, tops…we cook the majority of weekly meals at home, so we are using dishes.
Overflowing onto counters in one day is ridiculous, unless you have an RV kitchen sink (typically very tiny).
NTA but you’ll need to work this out with your parents. If it’s causing friction, perhaps get a dishwasher. Easy to put the dirty dishes in but will need the clean ones put up. Perhaps one of your parents would be willing to do that? My hubby hates to cook but is more than willing to deal with the dishwasher – considers it his part of mealtime. Dirty dishes sitting around, besides the ick factor, will just encourage bugs – and that will affect you and the food in the house.
NTA. That’s way too many dishes imo. If that’s what they want to do then fine, they are perfectly able to clean up after themselves. They did it for all this time until now without your help.
Have you had a discussion with them about this?
Do you have a dishwasher that they are not using?
Good luck.
NAH, but you should talk with them about responsibilities for chores within the house
NTA, but I think the bigger issue is that you are feeling taken advantage of.
Are you paying rent?
What does that have to do with anything? They explained they clean up after themselves, the parents DON’T.
If you live there rent free, you should wash every dish without complaining.
I have read your responses and feel like you are leaning in the cultural explanation to stay in a non-adult lifestyle, so I’ll go YTA.