so me (19F) downloaded hinge a few months back not to look for anything serious but because I was curious on how things work there. i matched with a few guys and one of them, let’s call him Sub (26M) . so he works as a software engineer and he lives 30 km away from my house. abt his past, he has never had any romantic relationships and there was this girl in his college who never gave any attention to him while he was in a one sided love with her. he lives alone too btw. so we talked for a few months and then all of a sudden, he comes to me saying that he wants to be in a relationship with me and i politely rejected him bc first reason was the age gap.. i usually prefer guys of my own age and 26 was a bit too huge for me. and second was because i just came out of a toxic relationship and i don’t want another guy, atleast for now
so i just told him that but he always kept insisting on getting into a relationship saying that he likes my vibes and my views abt the world and i always politely rejected. in between those conversations, i always found him to be very boring too because he honestly has zero communication skills. he cracks unfunny jokes and laughs to his own jokes and he even jokes about my preferences sometimes, for example me liking coffee more. there was this time where I told him that I woke up from a nap and he joked saying "what? you slept now? now you can’t sleep at night 😂" and that was honestly so unfunny. i can’t bear to hear these jokes the rest of my lives because I’m a person who is more into brainrot content and usually chinese brainrot 😭 I am really sorry if I sound rude here though
he also insisted on being on call so many times and I finally agreed to him and we talked for around 45 mins and that was honestly the most boring 45 mins of my entire life 😭 I cut the call somehow and after that he asked if I still liked him and once again, i politely rejected saying no, a few later i found out that it was his birthday and he’s turning 27 which means that the age gap is even bigger 😭
that man didn’t stop there and he continuously kept approaching until i deactivated my account for a month a ghosted him. he still continues sending me reels though but I never open a single one of them.
tbh, he never gave any threats for rejecting him. what I can say is that he was desperate and continues approaching but he never caused any harm because I never met him irl.
WITA for rejecting him?
Nta. I’m similar to this guys age and wouldn’t be comfortable with said age gap
NTA.
You don’t need a big reason to reject someone. Not being interested is enough. You’re 19, he’s 26–27, and you prefer people closer to your age. You also just got out of a toxic relationship and said you’re not ready for another one.
You already rejected him politely multiple times. The bigger issue is that he kept pushing after you said no. That’s ignoring your boundaries.
You’re not wrong for rejecting him, and you don’t owe him a relationship just because he’s nice.
NTA. Even if he was the same age as you, it sounds like you don’t like him very much, which is the best reason to not date someone.
That guy is a predator I’m sorry
NTA, you can reject anyone who isn’t your type due age gap…other reasons too.
You don’t need a reason to reject someone, if you don’t like them for any reason you don’t like them.
Nta – no means no. You need to try block any contact from this man.
NTA
I’m sorry but as a 31m – through my work I ended up meeting and talking to alot of young people between the ages of 18-23, and my nieces/nephews and all their friends are in that age range – I have NEVER met someone that age with good “view about the world” lol, this is just a fancy way of him attempting to say the traditional groomer line of “You’re mature for your age” to try and blend the lines of it being appropriate.
Realistically, you said no, and he ignored that but constantly BEGGING you – this is a major sign that he will never respect your opinions, or desires, in the relationship, his wants and needs will ALWAYS come first, major sign he will be a bad BF.
Secondly, you already know he’s never been in a relationship – that is also another major red flag, lack of experience, but also as a man means he is most likely single for a reason – and the fact he told you about his “one-sided relationship” kinda pushes that, especially when he writes the women off as “never giving him attention”, dude reeks of inceldom, major red flag.
The fact that he is unfunny and you’re 45 minute conversation were boring, just means you’re incompatible, more reason to not date him – but the fact he keeps pushing you to like him + kept trying to get you to call after you reject him + keeps sending you reels when you don’t open them says he is a red flag, socially inept, and desperate.
Dude is a bad red flag, block him everywhere and move on with your life, he’s not worth it.
And sweetie I’m sorry but “Hes never threatened me or caused me harm” is a TERRIBLE bar to have for “aita if I reject him” lol, what if people said you are in the wrong, you’d date him?? no, don’t be silly.
NTA you did everything right. Don’t let that guy guilt trip you into more contact.
You stood your ground. Next step is blocking him if he doesn’t respect your boundaries
He isn’t a nice guy.
A nice guy takes no for an answer.
NTA. What an absolute loser. Just block him girl.
Let’s not call him “Sub”. Let’s call him “Pred”. NTA.
Naaah, you’re totally NTA. Age gaps can be weird, and if he’s not vibing with you personality-wise, that’s a huge red flag. You gotta protect your peace, especially coming out of a toxic situation. Plus, no one has time for boring convos and unfunny jokes like, seriously! 😂
NTA. He is a sad controlling man who needs a reality check. And maybe therapy.