So a little backstory, I own a family business with my dad and my brother, my mama’s retired, and I’ve been with my husband for 20 years.. One morning my husband logged into our cameras at our office to make sure everything was going okay when he logged in. He overheard my dad tell our accountant who is also our best friend that he (my husband) stole $55,000 from my mom and the business. Please note this never happened in the slightest ever.. So my husband confronted me about it and said, hey, I overheard your dad saying this, and I’m very upset. I didn’t believe him. I was like, there’s just no way my dad would say that right? He then logged into our camera feed and played me the footage to show me, I was shocked And so heartbroken to hear the words come out of my dad’s mouth. I then called my dad to confront him. He told me I misheard him, and that’s not what he said, and then he proceeded to log into our cameras and delete the footage. My husband and I are now no longer going to Christmas. And we are going to take a couple’s retreat away. Fast word two days after I told my dad and my mom that I would not be coming to Christmas because of what happened i am being told that now I have to take a pay cut from our business because they feel I earn to much now. Keep in mind I haven’t asked for a raise in years. I work about 4 or 5 positions at the job because that’s what being a business owner is. My younger brother is also in the business with us and he gets a lot of perks. He makes more money than I do even though I’ve worked there longer. He also has had a separate building built for himself. He also got a side by side 4 Wheeler. As well as having land gifted to him from my parents. That cost roughly about $60000. I being a good sport have never Asked for anything extra based on what My younger brother has gotten because I am not a petty person, so I brought all of this information up to them, to say, hey he gets all this stuff. I’ve never asked for anything that I didn’t deserve. I’ve never asked for anything extra. And now we’re cutting my pay. I was then told I don’t work as hard as my brother and I don’t deserve it. So now I am considering moving across the country and starting my life over with my husband am I the a******, am I being a brat?
NTA, but you need to cover your butt. They are clearly setting you and your husband up to take the fall for something. You don’t tell people things like that unless you’re laying groundwork for something else.
This was my thought exactly! They are seeing you and your husband up to take some sort of fall. I’m thinking the company is going under, or dad has actually embezzled money and is going to blame you
NTA. Break free and start over.
NTA
What your dad said about your husband was a huge line to cross. And denying it and deleting the footage makes it even worse. Also, the pay cut doesn’t feel like a real business decision. It feels like punishment. Especially when you’ve been carrying multiple roles for years and your brother gets more support.
You’re not being dramatic for protecting your marriage and your peace. Wanting to step away from something that’s hurting you makes total sense
NTA Sounds like you should have done this years ago. If you actually own part of the business, you need to paid out your share – get a lawyer if necessary. Don’t let them – and more importantly, your golden boy brother – take advantage of you.
NTA. Your dad’s accusations and the pay cut are completely unjust, especially given all the work you’ve put in and the sacrifices you’ve made for the family business. Setting boundaries and considering a fresh start with your husband is a healthy response to a toxic situation. You deserve respect and fairness, not guilt trips and slights.
Sorry, but talk to a lawyer.
Maybe they’re trying to cover up the excessive perks and gifts your brother gets or someone else’s embezzlement, but they are going to set you guys up to take the fall.
It’s time to protect your peace which may be walking far, far away.
Let bro finally earn his keep by doing all the work you do or let the business collapse.
NTA
Time to leave. Your dad is setting you and your husband up for embezzlement charges. Sounds like the business isn’t doing well and your dad is looking for a fall guy.
Time to quietly and quickly move away. Your dad can’t be trusted. Probably should seriously consider going low contact. No phone calls. Emails or texts only so you have a record of what is communicated. You dad could easily claim your hubby admitted to stealing the money in a phone call.
NTA and you need to get a lawyer immediately. You’re being set up
This is why it’s never a good idea to go into business with family
Op- NTA. You say you own part of the business. Time to get a lawyer, and tell them they need to buy you out of the business. Make sure you have ALL the paperwork in order, have all the proof of what you do for the company. Don’t walk away empty handed. It’s your business too! Then, yes, move away. Make a new life with your husband, one that doesn’t allow your Family to lie and cheat you. Let them run that business on their own and then see how much you do/did. There is no coming back from defaming your husband to the accountant- what your Father did could land your husband in major legal trouble. Time to distance yourself, they do not respect either of you, they do not value you. They expect you to stay under their thumb accepting only the scraps they choose to give you, while working you to the bone. If you stay, your husband will begin to resent that you chose to continue on with people who openly lie and defame him. Good luck OP- update us on what happens.
NTA. But you really need to get to the bottom of that $55,000 accusation. Is there really money missing? Are all those perks going to your brother to the detriment of the business? (And why have you never questioned your parents’ generosity to them? That has nothing to do with being a “petty person” and everything to do with a. being treated fairly and b. the perks’ cost to the business.) You need a forensic accountant to going into the books and trace all the money. And if you are, in fact, part owner and not an employee, you’re going to need a lawyer to disentangle yourself from the business.
You can’t be serious with this question. Of course NTA. Your family sounds toxic as fuck though – go far away from them and don’t look back.
Edit: I would actually be concerned that your father is trying to frame your husband for embezzled money or something. Maybe consult with an attorney?
NTA. And what happened to that $55k? I have a feeling your father took it and is blaming your husband.