As title said, i have a bunch of friends who are currently looking for a job. Some of them didn’t find any in 4 weeks, some only started looking, some has been unemployed for sometime and living due to partners money and personal money for a rainy day. As you imagine it’s not going great for them. We all share our stories and struggles about work when we hang out together for years, so it was always kinda normal.
I was fired from my job I’ve worked 4 years in and now I’m looking for one as well, but the thing is – I’m very social and have a lot of acquaintances specially in my work field, so it wasn’t that long until some people from my community offered a help to get me new place. Some kind of recommendations or even "we’ll interview you and see if you are up for my team". I’m really grateful to those people and think I’m kind of lucky that our community is that helpful.
Tho my friends doesn’t really share my enthusiasm in the subject. When i told them that I think I’ll find a place or two where to go – their mood suddenly changed when i reveal it’s mostly bcs i know some people:
* "Of course you do".
* "Some of us didn’t have friends or contacts besides our friend group".
* "I’ve been getting reject after reject, and you just find a work with high salary only bcs you know someone? Great".
* "And you get a higher payment? Again? Nice, very happy for you".
While I’m trying to sympathize with them on a subject, i don’t really understand what i did wrong. It seems like it’s ok for them to share with each other such news, but when it’s me it seems to hurt them. Specially since they are all introverts and i’m a guy from a meme who enters a bar and handshake half of it. To be clear, i don’t share it like "Haha, i’m better than you", i just share it like any other news without downplaying anyone else.
I don’t really think it’s my fault that i was born that way. My work require skills too and knowing someone doesn’t really provide 100% employment rate, it just provide opportunity which I’m willing to take. To them it seems like i’m doing nothing and just get it without much struggle, while being a social butterfly. But on the other hand, my friends have a hard time finding a job and it seems like my positive attitude and success in that hurts them, and i cannot share anything related to work to keep them safe. Am i the asshole?
tl:dr when i’m sharing my work finding progress, it seems to hurt my not so lucky friends and i feel like i cannot share it with them at all, if i want to avoid being seen as an asshole.
NAH but read the room. Your friends are drowning and you’re talking about how easy it is to swim. You’re not wrong for having connections or being excited, but they’re watching you skip the line while they’re getting rejected daily. That stings.
You can share your wins, just maybe dial back the enthusiasm when everyone else is struggling. Save the detailed play-by-play for after they land something too. It’s not about you being an asshole, it’s about basic social awareness when people you care about are stressed and broke.